hidden moments
by purpleanime
Summary: little snips of secret moments between shinji and his "actual" first love Hiyori. I am a super newbie at fic writing so please be gentle i'm just a nerd with too many daydreams! CONSTRUCTIVE criticism is welcomed! FLAMES ARE NOT!
1. Chapter1: thats just the thing about her

It was just like Hiyori to demand take out but by no means ever volunteer to go get it herself and god forbid if she did go that she'd do so quietly, oh no that just wouldn't be fair. The ex-captain sighed as his half-pint pain in the ass had decided that if she had go to so did he and of course after a few good sandal slaps to the face he "happily" agreed.

"baka you don't even know the way, why should you lead?!" Shinji demanded. Hiyori scoffed as she landed a well placed kick to his shin. His scream seemed to startle many of the bystanders.

"you're the one that doesn't know anything! I know exactly where it is!"she retorted in her usual brash way. Dragging him by the tie she rushes off, the blond gasps for air as her merciless iron grip didn't budge loose.

"ack! Hiy- hiyori aghh I ca-can't ack I can't- bre-." He was cut short by a sudden halt in her movement and a punch to the face. "AHHHH!!"

"is it a right or left from the park?…" she pondered tapping her chin as her left foot squashed Shinji's face into the pavement.

"left…" he weakly replied only to receive another blow to the head. "ACCKKK!!!DAMN IT HIYORI!!"

"left aha! I knew it come to me eventually." She declared as she continued on her way before turning back and glancing at the ex-captain.

"oii what are you doin' just laying around we got food to pick up." She demanded. he sent her the most hateful glare he could muster; she brushed it off and followed the path she'd craved in her head.

"a monster…that's what she is…" he muttered to himself as he hurried to catch up to her only to find her attention had been taken by a flower cart. He couldn't quite make out what the young man manning the cart was saying all he saw was the flower vender give Hiyori a flower and instead of receiving a fist in the face or a kick to the crotch; he got a smile, a soft genuine smile. No amount of slaps, kicks, or sandals to the face could've added up the painful feeling in Shinji's chest. He clenched his fist.

"what the hell is wrong with me, it's a stupid flower it means absolutely nothing! Hiyori doesn't even like them… then why the f#k is she smiling at that guy-" he widened his eyes in realization, he was actually jealous no not just jealous infuriated at the sight of Hiyori smiling at another man. He felt his cheeks glow warm for a second before shaking his head.

"I think I've taken one to many kicks to the head." He voiced quickly denying the feelings that had just plagued him. He walked over to the cart and cleared his throat making himself known.

"oii I thought you were the one that said we had food to pick up?" he inquired trying to seem nonchalant about the situation.

"shut up! I was sidetracked for a second that's all!" Hiyori countered her face turning the color of her sweat suit, she felt like a kid caught stealing a cookie out of the cookie jar. She quickly hid the flower behind her back.

"oh hello are you her older brother?" the vender asked kindly, there seem no malice in the young man's voice but that didn't make Shinji's urge to punch him any smaller.

"Me related to that ugly dipshit he wishes!" Hiyori bitingly retorted.

"ditto." Shinji remarked. The vender laughed nervously.

"oh well uh I hope your mother comes home soon Miss." the vender voiced smiling. "you sure seem to miss her a lot." Before shinji could voice his confusion, Hiyori interrupted him with a loud shout.

"shut up! Lets go Shinji!" she demanded her face turning redder than a tomato as she grabbed shinji by the hand and rushed off.

"oii wait up! What did he mean by mother?!" Shinji questioned as she didn't seem to slow down, but her grasp on his hand didn't seem to falter either.

_"warm…" _she thought as she clasped his hand tighter running faster.

"hyori where the hell are we even going!!! The restaurant's that way!!" Shinji demanded. As if awakening from a trance she suddenly halted.

"finally geez I though you were going to leave me behind and take my arm-… Hiyori?" he stopped midsentence as her eyes were misted up while her lip quivered. That look …. Not that look, not the look he'd rip his own arm off if it meant he'd never see it again.

"he though I meant she was my mom… she kinda was…wasn't she? Like my mom right?"she mused with melancholy smile, her voice was softer than a whisper but reached his ears… some how the flower the vender had given her had spark some kind of memory of Captain Hikifune which she had voiced out loud. Now he really should punch that guy.

"yeah…she kinda was." He replied in a soft tone, she looked up him almost startle as if she hadn't realized she had spoken her thoughts out loud. She looked down at her own feet ashamed of her actions. He squatted down to be at eye level. She tried to hided the oncoming tears by turning away only to have Shinji grab her chin. He felt as if Aizen's zanapaktou had just ripped a hole in his heart as she gave him that sadden expression.

"don't give me that look… I loathe that look." He whispered, she wiped away her would-be tears and she slapped away his hand only to notice she was still holding his other one very tightly. She blushed bright red and let him go.

"baka! don't tell me what to do!! And I didn't give you any look! So shut up!" she shouted hitting him in the face, before she could engrave her other fist into his face, he caught it clasping it tightly.

"it's still there, I want it gone, I **hate** that look." He demanded in a voice that sent shivers down her spine. She tried to take back her hand but he wouldn't budge.

"let me go!! I said I don't know what you're talking about baldy so shut up!! Let go of me right now or I'll-." She froze as she felt him brush away the few tears she'd let escape, his finger brushed her cheek gently, she felt her face grow warm. "…Shin-shinji…stop it." she ordered weakly. He didn't oblige, instead he wrapped his other arm around her waist. "Th-there are pe-eople and …" she argued but her protests fell to death ears as he pulled her in closer, their faces less an inch apart.

"shinji I meant it… I don't- not here!" She demanded this time with a little more fire. He paused his lips hovering right over hers. He grunted in frustration as he pulled away to look her in the eye, she gave him a grateful gaze before regaining her trademark scowl.

"baka trying to do something like that in public!" she shouted slapping his face. "what the hell wrong with you!!" a pained scream followed her blow.

"Frickin' psychopath!" he cried.

"what was that!?! I outta rearrange that face of yours maybe then you won't be so ugly!!" she threatened kicking him the chest sending him flying.

"you crazy bitch you almost killed me!!" he shouted from the distance, she rolled her sleeves running towards the blond.

"oh I guess almost isn't good enough for ya!! That's fine with me!!" she retorted readying her sandal for the work out. As unorthodox as it was, this was her way of telling him she was going to be okay, that she was fine, that as along as he was by her side she'd be okay and after years of knowing her, he knew exactly what it meant. After kicking the crap outta of Shinji, they eventually went to restaurant and picked up their order, they were quite a sight a boy who looked like he need to be in the emergency room and a pigtailed little girl with scowl that could make your blood turn cold holding hands as they walked home.

"we ain't walkin' in like this are we?" Hiyori asked her face blushing brightly.

"you kidding with those guys we'd never hear the end of it." Shinji replied.

"it's not like it's a secret or anything." She remarked bitingly.

"yeah neither are Kensei and Mashiro but you don't seem them cuddling and doin' touchy-feely crap now do ya?" he countered. She let go of his hand.

"your right." She replied digging her hands into her pockets hoping it replace the warmth from his hand. "that isn't our style."

"oii we're not there yet!" he stated in annoyed voiced.

"so?" she demanded in confusion.

"well I want hold it until we get there." He replied. She rolled her eyes.

"forget it." she responded. "not in the mood." She watched him twitch in anger, a small smile graced her lips.

"geez first no kiss, now I can't even hold your hand!" he muttered under his breath, he looked over to her and notice her smile, it's just like the one she'd given the vender…no better, it was better than that one, this one was for him.

"hey what are you lookin' at with that goofy grin of yours?" she demanded regaining her usual expression.

"nothing." He replied smiling that evil grin of his that she hated and loved.

"idiot." She muttered. He just shook his head and ruffled her hair.

"You bastard!! I told ya not you do that!" she shouted kicking him ribs.

"f#K!!" he groaned as he dropped down. " sure know how to bring a man to his knees."

"yeah, yeah you'd better get up and bring that food with you or else Lisa gonna kill you, you know she hate cold chicken." Hiyori warned.

"Keh two women to boss me around and kick the crap outta aren't I just the luckiest?" he muttered sarcastically.

"got that right." Hiyori replied smirking evilly. "but it's better when I do it."

_"I've fallen in love with a monkey demon…what have I done_?" He thought as he couldn't help but nod in agreement.

for some reason a slap in the face from a normal girl meant she was angry or upset, a slap from Hiyori could range from "dumbass." to "take off your pants…now!" that was just the special thing about her, you couldn't read her at first glance.

"oii dumbass lets go!!" she demanded grabbing him by the hand, not ever willing to admit she like the feeling of his hand cradle her smaller one.

"alright! Alright!!" he replied following. There was never a dull moment with that girl, not a one.


	2. Chapter2: our fate

I think I heard this in a comedy special Love was watching or Maybe Lisa anyway the line went something like this "if you can wake up next to same person each day after 25 years (thats long in human time apparently), look over to them and keep your lunch down, you've found your soul mate." I know romantic ain't it? but in my eyes very true. I look over at that retard dickhead lying next to me as I prop my head up onto the palm of my hand to take a closer look. Nope no upchuck… not even a little. As annoying and irritating as that face is there isn't a morning I mind waking up next to it. I can feel my feature soften and slowly turn into a smile, damn it! it's so hard to scowl when I got this dumbass next to me and before you even start no we haven't screwed each other yet so get your mind outta the gutter. There are just nights when I feel like holding him and pretend…that nothing else matters… it's an ugly lie trying live in this little fantasy were me and the man I love live happily ever after, fuck that! It never happens! Guess what kiddies the TV did lie to you! Dreams don't come true, and no, love can't magically conquer all.

A soft sigh escapes lips as drop my head into my pillow face-first. If he was awake I probably wouldn't even be thinking about this crap! I'd be too busy beating his face in for some lewd comment he'd let slip out. Pervert. I shift my head so I can face him, and suddenly the anger melts away, I look at him slowly breathing and damn it all I just can't hold in the smile on my lips! God I'm an idiot fallin' for this guy… keh I swear he put spell on me or something, I feel my cheek grow warm as I realize just how close his face is to mine. I'd just have lean in a little more an-- scratch that knowing this bastard he'd hold it over my head forever! I kinda like this though bein' able to just look at him. Against my better judgment I let my right hand slink up next to his face and brush away a few stray hairs, I twitch as I feel him tense up but soon enough he relaxes letting out a deep breath, my own breath of relief follows.

I slowly sit up and scoot away from him, though his bed isn't entirely that big to begin with, I find a way to give him some good space, I hold my treacherous hand tightly knowing it can't be trusted as my cheeks flush red. I look to the wall and see my reflection on his personal mirror, I hold in my sneer god! Could he be vainer? Pfft I can tell you from personal experience this dumbass takes more time than Lisa to fix his hair and he uses that girly shampoo crap too! He thinks I can't smell it but come on when you're boyfriends hair smells like a fruit salad there's only so much you can conclude either he's using chick products or he's part tree… Shinji is not part tree. I run my hand through my own hair it's no where near as soft as his but ehh who gives a flyin' fuck. if he was looking for girl who cared about her personal appearance he picked the wrong one! I tie my rat's nest up into to pigtails, get a few bobby pins to pin up my bangs and done!

He hates it… that why I love it! He's told me time and again "you'd look less like that raggedy doll if let yer hair down!" and of course he's met with well place sandal to the face. I like my hair fine, and even if he won't admit out loud I know he loves my pigtails, they're just part of who I am. Just like that stupid grin of his, that smile that reeks of confidence and cockiness, I hate it… but if there's ever a day when I don't see it, I know I won't feel the same, I know my heart will hurt.

I look away from the mirror and concentrate back on him, I hold right hand as if to assure myself I won't disturb him again. It's been so long since he's had a peaceful night's sleep. Most night I'll wake up to see him staring at the ceiling while his arms are wrapped around me, he'll usually just look down and send me a smile. _"go back to sleep dummy."_ He'll say and place soft kiss to my forehead. He'll close his eyes but I know that even long after I'm asleep he'll still be staring at that ceiling, he'll still be feeling that burden in his heart. my hands clutch the sheets around me violently as Aizen's sickly face comes to mind.

It's his fault… it's all his fault! It's his fault he doesn't sleep! It's his fault he carries this burden!! It's his fault we all have these monster in our heads!! My knuckles turn white from how hard I'm gripping the sheets. If I could just kill him, and make him pay, I'd make him suffer for our pain! for our loneliness! For every moment we've lived in exile and sorrow! The day his blood is on my hands is the day… the day… the day Shinji will finally be happy! I want that more than anything for his smiles to be real not hollow, deep down he's in so much pain and I … I can't do anything! All I do is watch! I can't- just- I don't know how to comfort him, I wasn't taught love and compassion, I was taught to survive, fight, and protect! I want to heal those 100 year old wounds…I want that more than anything.

"I want to Shinji… but how?…" I whisper losing my strict demeanor as I can't resist gently brushing my fingers against his face. Only here and now in these moments where no one will see or hear me can I truly open my heart to him. I smile maliciously as the irony hits me of how softly I'm rubbing the cheek that I spend most of my time bruising. In my defense he's the dumbass who can't keep his mouth shut but …there much more to it than that.

"you know why I do it …don't you Shinji?" I ask softly as I lean down to graze his cheek with my lips softly, probably one of few times I'll treat him so tenderly. "You're only one who knows why I hit you so much."

"because you have anger management issues." I hear his deep voice respond, my eyes snap open in shock to meet his light hazel ones along with that despicable grin of his. I feel my felt eye twitch in a fumbling mixture of rage and embarrassment. I grab my pillow (I should've reached for the lamp on his night table) and hit him roughly in the face.

"Baka!! I thought you were asleep!!" I shout my cheek stained an obvious cherry red. I hear his muffled laugh through the pillow. I feel my pent up rage boiling as I tackle him and hit him squarely in the face. He hisses in pain from the blow, and rubs it trying to ease the pain. He sits up and glares at me.

"oii! Oii! It's too early to be playing so roughly geez you have to learn some control woman!" he retorts.

"that's what you get for spying on me!" I counter heatedly my cheeks still red more from anger then from shame.

"Spying!?! This is** my** room!! If you say something in here; I'm bound to hear it!! Especially if you're whispering it next to me in **my** bed!!" he argued.

"shut up!! You were pretending to be asleep!! Of course I was going to say thing I didn't want you to hear!! But you just had to be a sneaky bastard and listen in didn't you!!" I replied bonking him on the head, he countered with a bonk of his own.

"you're the one feeling me up in my sleep!!" he accused irritating me to no end.

"you baldly I was not feeling you up!! I was- I was-." I blush brightly, his grin rises to the corner of his ears, that insufferable grin that makes my blood boil.

"changed you're mind about the virgin bride thin-." Before he could continue his taunt my fist had connected with his nose as he let out loud shout.

"damn it!! ack you little psycho!" he whines rubbing his nose in pain.

"keh don't even think about it! until I see a ring on my finger we're not doing anything." I retorted huffily. He rolls his eyes but smiles lightly.

"yeah yeah, so mind telling me why you're brooding so much you're making Kensei look like a carebear." He inquires, I freeze up at his accusation.

"I don't know what you're talking about." I respond dismissing his inquiry. He narrows his eyes in suspicion, I immediately break eye contact, his searching auburn eyes can pry open my deepest feelings, with a mere glance he can tell I'm worried, if he searches deep enough he'll know I was thinking about-

"you gonna keep starin' into space or you gonna answer my question?" he demands interrupting my thoughts.

"I already did shithead, I said I don't kno-." Before I can continue he grabs my chin making me face him, my hazel eyes meet his. I squirm under his penetrating gaze, his eyes seem to read my heart like a book.

"I heard you, but now I want you to say it to my face." He replies. "what's wrong?"

"baka let go of me!! I answered you already!" I shout trying to pry away from his grip only to be frozen still by his auburn eyes, he's not the only one that can read people, he's worried it's written all over his face ugh!… I'm so stupid, like he doesn't have enough problems! I have to calm him down.

"I'm fine." I respond as honestly as I can, my tone becoming gentler trying to ease his worry. I tenderly caress his cheek. "how did you sleep?" I ask. He seemed shock by the change in attitude, his brow furrowed in frustration.

"I slept fine, don't go changing the subject, I saw that look Hiyori, you were thinking about-

"Us, I was thinking about us okay!" I shout interrupting him my face turning a bold red at my declaration.

"us?" he asks incredulously. My heart beat quickens it's only a half lie, I was mostly thinking about us.

"yeah got problem with it?" I demand regaining my raging demeanor. He shakes his head.

"no just… what exactly was it about "us" you were thinking about?" he requests. I turn beet red.

"it- it's stupid- I don't wanna talk about it."I stutter trying to keep my cool. He sets his piercing gaze on me once more but this time it's gentler and curious.

"if it's about us, don't I have the right to know?" he ask softly as he tenderly caresses my cheek with a lone finger. Shit! I'm screwed, I feel my heart beat at full throttle.

"it-it's just…I –I …" I pause as my nervousness consumes me.

"you what?" he replies whispering in my ear. He's toying with me as annoying (and slightly hot ) as it is , it's a good thing, it means he's not taking me seriously which means he's forgotten about my worry but… I really was thinking about us but if I come out and say something like that he'd just laugh. These feelings… they have to stay in my heart, if I let them out, they'll rip out the warrior in me and replace it with a woman… I can't be a woman… not just yet… just a little longer… just until I have aizen's blood dripping down my hands…

"I can't." I meekly replied, I looked in his hoping he's understand, he cups my face and kisses my forehead I feel wave of relief wash over me as his auburn eyes look down at me in empathy. "I just-

Before I can continue he envelops me in his arms. I wrap my own around his back and bury myself within his chest. He feels so warm… I don't want to let go.

"you don't have to keep talking idiot, I get it… okay." He reassures. I feel my eyes mist up…no! I can't- over something so stupid! "Don't you dare" I tell myself. I can't cry- I'll only worry him- shit! A tear… it fell and there are more I can't- I can't stop them!

He looks down and brushes them away. "you don't have keep it all in… you don't have to hide, not from me." he whispers. Place my hand right over his scar even though a layer of clothing separates his skin from mine… I can feel it. I look up at him- I must look so weak and stupid crying over something as stupid as…as this! My hazel eyes look up at his, I blush as I see the wanting glint in his eye.

"looking at me like that… you're almost begging me to kiss you." He muses though I can't help but feel his words were more for him than me. I clutch his night shirt as his faces draws closer.

"I love you hiyori." He says before closing the gap, I let out a small gasp. He loves me… he's said before but still… my heart still races when he says it. I grab his golden locks drawing him closer to me deepening the kiss. If not with words than with actions, if just for moment let me be a woman in his arms… is that too much to ask for ?... just for a moment.

He runs his hands through my body. I blush fiercely I'm not as curvy as Mashiro or as well-endowed as Lisa, but his caresses make me feel just beautiful as any of them. I keep clutching his shirt, right under his shirt, right under my fingers is that damned scar, the one I gave him- the one Aizen gave him, he bites my bottom lip and a soft moan escapes my lips, my mind becomes a fog… all I can think about is him, his scent, his taste… my hate begins dissolving. I want to do the same for him… I want my love to make him forget.

I slink my hands through his shirt running him fingers gently up and down his stomach, I feel him shudder under my touch, I let my tongue dance along his more fiercely, our lips crash more violently, he moans loudly as my fingers massage his back. I let a moan of my own out as he presses our bodies closer.

Forget….forget….

"forget..." I find myself moaning the words I scream within my heart, he freezes for second, his lips slowly separate from mine. His usually smirk is replaced with a gentle smile.

"baka…" he whispers as pins me down to the bed, my eyes widen and my face if possible glows a deeper red, both of us huff deeply for air. He sends soft butterfly kisses down my neck, I can't help but let his name out in small huffs of air. My sanity's slowly slipping away; his hand traces circles on my stomach. He faces me as my eyes shut from the soothing feeling of his hands. His lips hover over my ear, though my mind is gone and my senses too overwhelmed, I hear him whisper. "I can't forget… but I can have you."

I don't know whether to cry from joy or sadness… he kisses away my oncoming tears… damn him… damn him to hell!!! Shinji will never be free from that bastard… I swear I'll make him pay, I should be the only thing in his heart, I want it to belong only to me! but I have to share his heart with his hatred of aizen, I half to split the man I love with his undying guilt.

"please…just-." He interrupts me placing a lone finger on my lips.

"don't…Hiyori…don't ask me for that, I can't, you know damn well I can't." he stated his guilt consuming him.

"it's not fair…it's not fair!" I sob on his chest. he embraces me tightly. This why my heart is filled with untamable rage! This is why a smile is so rare on me! I begin to tremble from the fury deep inside me. I push myself away from him to look him in the eyes.

"I hate you… I hate you!" I declare heartlessly, I know my words pierce daggers into his heart but the pain seeping from mines doesn't let me care. I see the hurt look in his eye as he wipes my tears.

"I know." He replies softly kissing my forehead. "I know."

I hold him tighter sobbing softly… this is my reality…this is my life…no this our life…

"if I kill him…will you love me only?"I ask in a pained voice.

"idiot…I already only love you." He responds holding me tighter. I can still feel my tears running, I feel so ridiculous and weak. I know I can't ask this…I know I can't beg him to forget all this and try to live happily beside me… it's just not our way…after all our pain, Aizen has to die.

"I'm tired…" are the only words I muster after all this. He runs his hands through my blond hair.

"go back to sleep." He advises. "you barely rested." I nod in agreement, we both stayed up starring at the ceiling in silence.

"hm." Is all I reply as I nest myself in his embrace. He cradles me in his arms.

"I love you." He whispers as sleep starts to swallow me… I want to sleep, I want to dream, I want to dream of a life, of a place where we wouldn't be shinigami or vizards or anything just us together.

"I love you too." Are the last words I muster before slipping back into my slumber. He holds me tighter.

"dream…dream all you want about us." He sooths, he turns his head to look up at the ceiling.

"you're why I can't sleep hiyori… when I sleep I see that place…that place we can never reach, where it's just us… were you smile all the time, where that shine in your eyes never fades, how I can be strong enough to protect you, when my own heart wishes to throw away the sword in my hand and hold you forever." He declares, he shuts his eyes painfully. "no… I can't sleep, I can't fall into that dream, I need to hold my sword tighter than ever…" he caresses my cheek gently. "…I'll never let anything touch you again."

These are words he confesses to me every night and the only time I hear them is in my dreams, this is our life…this is reality… yet still there isn't a moment I regret waking up beside him…I'll always love you Shinji…always.


	3. Chapter3: injuries

"Captain Hirako I don't really think it be appropriate for you to see Lieutenant Sarugaki right now, her wounds were only tended to moments ago, she needs rest." A 4th squad member nurse advised as she tried to prevent Shinji from entering Hiyori's infirmary room. Unfortunately her cries fell onto deaf ears. Shinji kept moving forward, his mind to jubbled up in worry and anxiety. The small girl was finally able to match his pace.

"Captain please it be-"

"listen to me, this room is to stay undisturbed until I leave." He ordered interrupting her. "and as for the order given to you, tell Unohana it was me who overturned them." He replied solemnly, he continued on his way.

"but Captain!-."Before the girl could protest he sent her a warning look.

"don't make me repeat myself." His cold tone seemed to startle the young shinigami. She stood frozen as he continued on into hiyori's room. "no one is to enter until I leave that's an order, understood?" he demanded.

"un-understood sir." The shinigami bowed.

He turned swiftly and shut the door behind him. He took a few steps inside the barely lit room and paused as he saw Hiyori's small body cradled in bland green sheets, her chest heaving up and down slowly. He took a moment to compose himself trying to hide the ever growing concern he felt. When he felt ready he placed himself beside her bed looking down towards her. he felt his hands tighten into fists as the helpless expression on her face seeped into his heart. The fire she carried had been taken from her, even if it was for a moment, a monster, a hollow had dared to touch what was most precious to him, leaving her battered and bruised. Shinji's eyes turned dark at the memory of that abomination slashing it's claws into Hiyori. His hiyori…her blood…everywhere… something seemed to snap within him, as he dropped to his knees.

"Idiot…" he scowled shaking with both rage and sorrow, he clutched the bed tightly. "WHY DIDN'T YOU JUST STAY PUT LIKE I TOLD YOU TO!" his shout was only met with light hazel eyes staring at him.

His own eyes widened in shock as Hiyori's hand weakly moved towards his face. Instead of receiving the slap he expected, he was met with a gentle caress as she wiped his tears.

"Baka, this…is nothing." She replied in a feeble voice. "grow a… pair and act like a…man." She demanded. He wanted to scream and shout reprimanding her for her stupidity but couldn't force himself be mad at her in her current condition. He removed her hand from his cheek, from the expression on her face she seemed pained by the gesture, and stood turning around. Hiyori's eyes were filled with grief at his act of coldness.

"shut it." he replied sternly whipping his last tears. "you need to save your strength, Unohana said you're gonna be here for a long while." He began walking off until Hiyori's hand caught hold of his robe, stopping him.

"Shin…ji-

"get some sleep." He interrupted it pained him so much to see her look so fragile, he need to leave, if he stay for even one more second he'd lose it. "I'll come by tomorrow." His heart ached as he couldn't even turn to see those beautiful brown eyes look up at him. If he would have turned he would've only seen fresh tears. With all the strength he could muster he headed to towards the door only to hear a small sob. His feet frozen and every fiber of his being begged him to turn around; he balled up his fists as he fought an internal battle.

"I'm... sorry." She stated weakly. "I know …you're mad….because I screwed up the mission… I'm sorry for… getting in the way but…"

Shinji felt as if that same hollow had just pierced through his chest. How could she even think for a moment that he was mad over something so stupid.

"the mission…the mission?...." he paused from the rage boiling inside him " **you think I give a damn about the mission!!!!**" he shouted turning around. " you frickin' retard!! The only thing I care about is you!!!" he exclaimed furiously.

"what the fuck were you thinking!!! Just jumping in front of me like that!!! That thing could've killed you!!! Why are you so fucking stupid!! My god!! Do you know how hard it was to go back to fight while I watched you slowly bleed to death…Damn it Hiyori do you know how that feels, to have let the person you love go because you need to fight!!"he demanded.

"shinji…I…" she struggled to sit up. In the blink of an eye he was kneeling down on the floor beside her bed. His left hand clasped her own tightly.

"don't move." he ordered. "if you open any of those wounds, it'll be another week in this room." He helped her lay down in gentle manner .He looked to meet her broken expression, his eyes quickly looked away unable to stand the burning pain in his chest.

"…I don't know…what possessed me …but…I had to do it, if not…it would have … killed you." She replied in guilt. "it was heading …straight for you… I couldn't… I had to…"

"stop!" he begged. "stop and listen to me, never in your fucking life every do that again." He demanded. She glared at him, her pale cheeks turning a slight red.

"don't tell…me what to …do asshole." She ordered. "I'm trying … to be…nice."

"I don't need you to be nice!! I need you to be alive!!" he retorted.

"so do I!!!" she shouted as loudly as she could muster. " I need you too… put…yourself in… my shoes…" her eyes bore into his own, begging him to understand.

"Hiyori…" he sighed running his hand through her ruffled hair. "please, please listen to me, you're…" he paused his cheeks turning red to match hers. "I love…I love you- a lot! Don't do this to me, don't make me suffer like this."

She leaned closer to him blushing brightly.

"the last thing I want… is for you to be in pain…I wanted to protect you." She replied. He cupped her face gently.

"all I want is you." He admitted, she blushed heavily at his declaration. "you and your safety."

"baka…I'm a lieutenant… I'm always in danger." She retorted.

"baka I'm a captain, I'll always be there to protect you." He promised. She smiled at him weakly.

"when I get better….I'm going to kick your ass …so hard for this." She joked. "talking down to me … like a big shot…"

"one beating I'm looking forward to." He replied smirking. A small silence followed his comment. She blushed as he slowly began closing the gap between their lips, she leaned in and met him half-way closing her eyes as their lips meet. Unlike most of their kisses, this one was soft and gentle. He brought her closer to his chest and kissed her tenderly hoping to ease the pain of her injuries. While Hiyori tried to do the same for him wanting relief him of guilt he felt, she ran her hand gently through his hair as their lips collided. Only a few seconds passed before Shinji pulled away. Hiyori slowly opened her eyes giving him a disappointed look. He chuckled at her expression.

"no more for now, you need sleep." He stated gentle brushing away her bangs. She covered his hands with her own closing her eyes at gentle feel of his hand over her cheek.

"if you're not… here tomorrow…I'll kill you." She threatened in a raspy voice. He shook his head and laughed.

"like I won't be, idiot." He taunted kissing her forehead and getting up. "get some rest Hiyori"

"you too Shinji." She replied shutting her eyes as he began heading out the door.

"hm." He nodded as took one last look at her smiling softly and closed the door behind him, his kind demeanor vanished as he was met with the inquisitive look of his lieutenant. His brows furrowed in annoyance.

"ahh captain there you are, I've been looking for you."Aizen stated fixing his glasses.

"what ya want? I just finish visiting the crazy fool, geez even layin' in a bed she's annoying." He replied acting indifferent.

"captain commander Yamamoto as been asking about your report on the mission, in district 43." His subordinate replied. Shinji rolled his eyes and clean out his ear in boredom.

"keh whatever, I'll go get started on it, come on Sosuke."Shinji responded as he began walking away, leaving a small distance between him and aizen.

"yes sir." Aizen obeyed but not before taking a glance at Hiyori's door.

_"Sarugaki Hiyori… you may prove to be usefully to me after all."_ He though maliciously as he continued on his way.

FLASH BACK

"_lieutenant Aizen, your captain asked specifically for the room to remained undisturbed" the young shinigami explained._

"_I see…well then, I'm sure my Captain won't mind if I wait outside, do you?"Aizen replied curious to know what was so secret about visiting the feisty lieutenant._

"_well I su-suppose not." The girl replied._

"_good, then I shall wait here." He stated. She nodded and bowed leaving him alone. He waited until the girl was a safe distance and set himself to open the door until a loud shout from his captain interrupted him._

" _you think I give a damn about the mission!!!! you frickin' retard!! The only thing I care about is you!!!" his captain's muffled voice shouted. Aizen felt a twisted grin place itself on his lips._

FLASH BACK ENDS

Aizen inwardly grinned as wide as a Cheshire cat as he dawn on the discovery he had just made.

" _how will it feel Captain Hirako when the woman you love becomes a monster in front of your very eyes…I'll cherish that moment, the moment where I completely break you, you should've known better…falling in love only brings pain…and you're suffering has only just begun."_


	4. Chapter4: the same eyes

Sarugaki Hiyori was not one for secrecy, plain and simple. So when posed the question "where ya goin' ?" by her blond comrade it was slightly suspicious to hear her reply.

"OUT!!" a shout which was followed by a loud slam on the door. The rest darted an accusing look at the blond vizard.

"what? I didn't do anything!" Shinji replied defensively, the other just rolled their eyes in disbelief which didn't really fly with their "leader".

"seriously!!" he retorted to their dismissive looks. Lisa glanced up from her erotic novel with a bored look.

"it's always you…always." She replied in a matter-of-factly voice. The other nodded in agreement. Shinji could feel the vein on his temple throbbing from annoyance.

"but I barely said three words to her!!" he defended. This time Rose retorted to his argument.

"you act as if that isn't enough for Hiyori." The wavy blond countered sipping on his dark coffee.

"remember the time you said good morning to everyone but her… you didn't say anything then and she still kicked your ass."Love added.

"maybe she really just wanted to go out! Ooh! Ohh! I wanna go out too!! Come on kensei!! Let go!!" the chirper ex-lieutenant exclaimed rising eagerly from their small breakfast table.

"no." was the gray haired man's only reply. Mashiro began through a tantrum which only added to kensei anger. "idiot!! I said no! and I meant no!!" he shouted.

Soon the room was filled with their shouts fortunately thanks to their many years of coexist with Shinji and Hiyori the others had learned how to tune it out. Shinji, who was too deep in thought to care, was wondering what he did to get Hiyori so mad. He rattled his brain but nothing came to mind. Hacchi sent him an amused expression.

"what?" shinji replied curiously.

"you shouldn't wonder so much about the problem and look more deeply into the solution." Hacchi advised. Shinji lifted a brow in confusion. The large man merely sighed.

"go talk to her and try to get her to calm down."Hacchi replied simplifying as best he could. Shinji sighed in annoyance and placed his hat on his head.

"whatever… goin' out to get some air." He mumbled as he left their warehouse. The rest look up as he shut the door.

"five dollars he makes it worse." Love waged comically.

"done." Lisa replied. Hacchi merely shook his head betting on the romantic lives of their comrades, had they no shame.

"20 she breaks his nose again." Kensei offered.

"I'll take that bet." Hacchi replied, the rest looked up in shock. "what… I say they find a peaceful resolution." He explained. The rest rolled their eyes at the naivety of the old man.

"yeah and monkeys'll come flyin' outta my ass!" Kensei retorted.

"that sounds like a terrible condition… you should see a doctor." Hacchi replied calmly.

The rest couldn't help but laugh at the expression on Kensei face…priceless.

* * *

Shinji eventually tracked Hiyori down at a candy boutique in the middle of town. He found it odd his pigtailed midget would in such a place, he decided to secretly follow her as best he could.

"oii! I'm here for my order!"Hiyori shouted at main counter, the saleswoman seemed to give her an annoyed look which Hiyori had no problem sending right back.

"ah yes Sarugaki-san, I recognize your…voice." The woman rudely emphasized. Shinji sent the woman a glare from distance.

"whatever where's my order?" the short blond demanded impatiently. The saleswoman quickly fetched it from the back and rang it up at the counter.

"that'll be 34.56." the woman stated dryly Hiyori gave her 2 twenties, grabbed her wrapped box and quickly walked out of the store.

"keep the change!" she shouted before the woman could even protest and the blond continued on her way. Meanwhile Shinji was following her as well as trying to guess who the chocolates were for. None of the Vizards had any birthdays, was it a holiday?…shit! Was that the reason she was mad! Was it some sort of anniversary gift or some other crap but the more he thought about, the more he realized Hiyori just wasn't that type of girl, so why then was she buying chocolates? and more importantly for who? He continued his musing until he started to notice the path she was taking was quite familiar…in fact it was very familiar. Eventually a small little shack came into view and he identified the small store by the two children in front. His eyes widened…the gift was for…Kisuke???

The timid girl's eyes lit up at the sight of Hiyori.

"ah Sarugaki-san it's been so lon-

"shut up Ururu! Keep cleaning! Nobody wants to hear you talk!" Jinta interrupted giving her a hard noggie.

"Jinta stop it! it hurts!!" she whined pathetically. Hiyori didn't know who she wanted to punch more the redhead brat for being a little bastard or the timid one for being so useless. She ignored them and stepped idly inside the shop were she was greeted by Tessai. Shinji followed as far as he could, close enough to hear, far enough not to get caught.

"Hello welcome to- H-hiyori-san?" tessai questioned incredulously, she shook her head.

"no it's the frickin' muffin man." She replied bitingly. The old shop keeper twitch in anger but bit back his comments. "where the hell's Kisuke?! I gotta talk to him." She demanded.

"Inside but-

Hiyori shot past him and entered the inside of the home, nothing had really changed from her last visit minus and picture or two. She spotted Urahara in his pajamas reading over what looked like a hand-made card. Behind him was a small window from where Shinji could see and hear everything.

"hiyori-san?" the man asked in shock, his disbelief quickly turned into joy. "what a pleasant surprise." He added. Hiyori ignored his comment and sat herself on the floor, her present behind her back.

"well to what do I owe such a kind visit-

"oh shove it, you know exactly why I'm here!" she replied blushing slightly, a small ting of pink that few except shinji could bring the vizard to wear. Shinji became slightly annoyed at the idea of kisuke making his Hiyori blush.

"no not really…ah could it be? You truly remembered my birthday Hiyori-chan?" Urahara teasingly replied. both Hiyori and Shinji became extremely ticked off at the use of such an endearing honorific.

"oii don't get all chummy, I didn't come to get touchy-feely or none of that crap! So just here's your stupid present!" she huffed shoving the box at him. He took it gently smiling brightly at her.

"you really didn't have to Hiyori-chan, a simple visit would have done." He stated gratefully smiling kindly. Hiyori's blush rose once more.

"retard! It's just compensation nothing more!" she replied defensively.

"compensation?" he asked curiously raising a brow. She looked away huffily still blushing.

"for the ribbons…the ones you got me for my birthday." She retorted.

"ahh yes that's right, I thought they'd look quite lovely on you." he stated remembering his past deed. She blushed once more, Shinji did not fail to notice how lenient she was towards Kisuke's compliments and friendly tone, any other guy would've been on the floor bleeding, and personally it was starting to piss him off. Urahara looked on top of her head only to find other ribbons holding her hair up.

" I see other ribbons have taken their place." He stated. Hiyori touched the ribbons on her head and tried to hold in her smile.

"yeah…shinji gave these to me." she said in much softer tone than she intended. Shinji couldn't help but swell in pride as his gift held more importance than Kisuke's.

"ahh I see…" Urahara replied tauntingly, Hiyori shot him a warning look.

"how is Hirako-san?" he asked good naturedly.

"he's fine, we're all fine." She quickly answered.

"I'm glad to hear that, it's been awhile since I've seen you all." He replied smiling.

"yeah well it's not like we really care anyways." The sandy blond added. "it just be annoying having someone like you around."

Kisuke gave her a mock hurt look, which she merely responded to with a scowl.

"hiyori-chan, you never do learn how much you words really hurt." he whined hiding behind his paper fan.

"keh like I'd fall for that little act, I know under that fan of yours you're grinning from ear to ear." She retorted in annoyance. Kisuke smirked and folded up the fan to uncover his face, revealing her words to be true.

"am I so predictable?" he questioned jokingly, she narrowed her eyes.

"only when you want to be." She responded. The store keeper smiled playfully.

"that is true." He stated fixing his hat to conceal his eyes. "but then again we all wear masks…don't we?"

His remark seemed to upset the young vizard, Hiyori's eyes casted down to the ground.

"Some of us don't have a choice." She replied bitterly. Kisuke noticed her obvious dislike for the topic, regret written in his eyes.

"no…no some of us don't but, I think that's what's make some people special, mask or no mask trying to show who you really are is a challenge but if you're able to, even while wearing your forced mask, doesn't that make you a little more special than the people around you?" He mused.

Hiyori stated silent, but her eyes quickly glanced up to meet her ex-captain's, her response was unvoiced but as clear as a bell. _"yes… it does." _ He sent her a reassuring smile, she looked away trying to hide the red tint on her cheeks.

"whatever, I didn't come here to hear you babble about stupidities like an old geezer, I came to get even, there's your present, don't ever get me one again, and for pete's sake it's almost twelve in the afternoon get off your ass and do something productive!"She demanded.

"but it's my birthday!" he whined.

"and that's the only reason I haven't smack the crap outta you, don't make me have to!" she warned taking off her sandal holding then threatingly

"my, my violent as always, how about instead you join me for a nice cup of tea?" he replied trying to avoid her threat. She huffed and put her sandals back on.

"yeah… alright, but get me some dumplings or something I'm starving." She reluctantly agreed. The storekeeper beamed at her compliance and called forth on his employee.

"tessai-san would you be so kind as to bring out some dumplings and…" he paused musing on what tea to choose.

"ginger root tea." Hiyori finished.

"and some ginger root tea please." Urahara requested. Tessai quickly complied with the request and set off to fufill the order. Urahara waited until the man disappeared behind the door to speak.

"how've you been sleeping?" he asked in a fatherly voice. Shinji expected to hear a slap or shout instead a very gentle voice was what Urahara received.

"…better…I guess, you?" the ex-luitenent question in similar concerned.

"fine, the little ones get a little loud but their good kids all in all." He replied. "are the nightmares a lit-

"not as many, Shinji helps." She replied quickly blushing brightly.

The de facto leader of the Vizards blushed bright red at the leniency Hiyori had at speaking about their relationship with Urahara.

"that's good." The ex-captain paused and gently ruffled the blond's hair. " I really am glad to see you Hiyori, I've been worried at about you, last time I saw you, you were tired and fussy-

"I'm always like that!" she retorted blushing at his tenderness.

"fair enough but, I'm just glad to see that glimmer in your eye is back." He countered

"yeah, yeah whatever just don't worry so much I ain't as young as I look." She replied crossing her arms.

_"that idiot, of course she doesn't need someone worrying about her, keh like I'd let anything near her." shinji mentally added._

"I'll always worry about you Hiyori, you know that." He responded giving her that same sad smile, the only one he could muster genuinely while looking at her eyes, she could read the remorse in his look.

"I know." She replied quickly in bitter tone. "_Both of you can't let go_." She said in a faint whisper.

The conversation veered of into another direction as tessai and the children entered, Shinji watched in fascination as he saw a less familiar Hiyori, he saw her break out into a small smile and even downgrade her usual beating to a normal punch on the arm, he gazed at her light brown eyes light up as Urahara spoke to her about one of his new contraption (though she faked disinterest quite well). At the end she even helped ururu put on her pigtails (as one of Jinta's nuggies had undone them.)

"a-a-rigato, Sarugaki-san." The small girl thanked as she felt her new pigtails.

"whatever just try to keep them in place." Hiyori replied brushing off the child's kindness.

"Your too modest Hiyori." Urahara added.

"and you're too lenient! These brats do whatever they want you better start putting them in their place." Hiyori scowled.

"they're just children, hiyori-chan wouldn't it be alright to spoil them just alittle?" he replied in pleading manner.

"keh and let them end up lazy bums like you, you wish! Now I'm outta here, try not to completely waste the day." She said place her sandals make on.

"I'll try my best." He said gently ruffling her hair, she twitched in agitation. "have a good day Hiyori-chan." Her face of annoyance changed into a slightly softer one.

"take care of yourself you bum." She replied in soft voice turning around to face away from him. He smiled gently as she headed out the door.

"you too Hiyori-chan." He said as she was no longer in earshot. The children and Tessai dispersed and Urahara chuckled as he glanced back at the window behind him, smirking as he spotted Shinji lazily leaning against a tree.

"My, my you were spiking reiatsu here and there, it's almost as if you were upset or surprised Hirako-san." He called out. Shinji shot him a nonchalant look.

"is that so? I think you're getting senile Kisuke, the years have wasted your mind away." Shinj replied jokingly. Though inside he was shocked at his transparency.

"possibly but I feel as fit as a fiddle, would you like to join me for some left over tea?"Urahara offered

"why not?" The blond vizard replied.

* * *

"h-here's your tea, Hirako-san." Ururu stated as she set down his cup.

"thanks Ururu-chan." He replied with a smile, the little girl blushed and scurried away.

"I didn't know Hirako-san could make such a gentle face, you really must try to be more expressive." Kisuke commented sipping on his tea. Shinji shot him a warning look.

"why would I give you a gentle look? a sweet little girl like her is the only type that deserves it." He countered.

"not even on my birthday, how cruel." Kisuke complained. The vizard merely rolled his eyes.

"yeah,yeah whatever." Shinji replied drinking his tea. "so… why'd you invite me in?"

"it be rude to merely acknowledge you and then leave you be, besides the company of old friend is a great present on one's birthday." The storekeeper responded. "but tell me this why were you here in the first place?"The blond vizard blushed slightly and looked away.

"none of your business, I was just walkin' around and notice your place wasn't too far off, can't a guy just stop by to say hello?" Shinji countered defensively.

"I see … so it had nothing to with Hiyori-san?" he questioned teasingly. Urahara didn't miss the tension in his body language as he mentioned Hiyori's name.

"I don't care what that idiot does." He replied. "it's her business."

"you two never change." The storekeeper chuckled. Shinji gave him a confused look.

"what's that suppose to mean?" he demanded.

"nothing, just… any fool can tell how in love you two are." Urahara stated. Shinji's eyes widen at the man's statement.

"don't say stupid things like that out loud." Shinji replied sipping his tea trying to hide his uneasiness on the subject.

"still as touchy as ever when the subject of love comes up." Urahara accused.

"says the guy whose in love with his best friend." Shinji countered.

"took the words right out of my mouth." The blond shot back smirking.

"keh everybody thinks they got it all figured out." Shinji commented.

"on the contrary, I'm just stating what I see, I'm far from understanding the intricate concept of love." Urahara voiced in defense.

"got that right." Shinji retorted.

"she's one of a kind." Urahara mused steering away from the previous subject. "Hiyori-san I mean."

"I guess." Shinji replied nonchalantly while internally he felt very uncomfortable hearing those words from another man's lips.

"be sure to take care of her Hirako-san, I would hate for an consequences to arise from any mishaps."Urahara advised sipping his tea. Shinji looked at the blond man in confusion… if he didn't know any better, that sounded like a threat.

"are you…was that a- whatever, the runt's a vizard, we take care of our own." Shinji replied standing up. His discomfort was easily read by the ex-captain.

"leaving so soon?" Urahara inquired almost mockingly.

"yeah I got stuff to do, take it easy Kisuke." He replied waving off.

"the same, please send everyone my greetings."the blond requested.

"sure, later." Shinji replied heading off, he said his goodbye's to Tessai and the children and sped off.

_"she 's one of a kind… hiyori-san I mean." _Urahara's voice didn't seem to leave his head. Shinji tried shake away his jumbled thoughts but couldn't seem to.

_ "what did he mean… that Kisuke's always been a puzzle, but he's always taken good care of Hiyori and even though the little runt won't admit it, she cares for him too." _Shinji halted his step as the idea of another man being precious to Hiyori rubbed him the wrong way._ "it's not like she loves him or anything… not like…_

_**"I love you…" she whispered as he fell asleep in her arms, her blond hair finally down from it's infernally pigtails and lazily frame around her face as she smiled in an uncharacteristic manner. The last thing he felt was her lips graze his forehead.**_

_ …not like she loves me." _he continued as his flashback reminded him of her warmth. He unconsciously wore a wide grin as he continued on his way even whistling a familiar tune. Soon enough he found himself back home, he opened the door to find the rest of the vizards glaring at him.

"what!?" he inquired.

"what did you do? She came in here stomping like Godzilla." Love complained.

"I didn't do anything I haven't even seen her, I just went to get some air!" shinji countered.

"no wonder!" the rest chorused.

"get up there on the roof, and calm her down, she's pmsing worse than Lisa when we ate all her gummibears!" rose added, whom was met with a manga to the face.

"she probably is pmsing, only explanation for her insanity." Kensei commented.

"what if she's just hungry!? She didn't come back for lunch! That's it! she's grumpy cause her tummy's grumbly!" mashiro declared as she sped of to the kitchen.

"…who the hell let her watch Disney channel again!" Lisa demanded.

"…can anyone else here believe she ever held a position of authority…" Love commented.

"the same could be said for any of us." Shinji replied. "look I'll go see what's up but don't expect miracles-

"TADA!! Fear no more the miracle is here!" Mashiro interrupted as she presented Shinji a sandwich, everyone sweatdropped.

"uh mashiro… I don't-

"idiot how's a crappily made sandwich gonna fix anything!"Kensei countered, she stuck out her tongue.

"shows what stupid kensei knows! Maybe if you weren't so stttupppiddd you'd understand." She teased. Rose and love held the ex-captain down as he was about tackled his ex-lieutenant.

"give this to Hiyori-chan and I just know she'll calm down." Mashiro advised with 100% certainty. Shinji took the sandwich out of compassion for green haired girl.

"sure and if anything, the plate might block some of her blows." He joked as went off, sandwich and all.

"he's gonna get such an asskicking." Love commented as he rummaged through the fridge.

"have faith in the power of the sandwich!" Mashiro exclaimed. "it is a healer of all wounds!"

"if you don't shut up! You're going to need a "healer of all wounds" from the can of whoop-ass I'm going to open on your dumbasses!"Lisa threatened trying to read her manga in peace.

"scary…" the rest chorused.

* * *

Meanwhile hiyori was perched on top of the roof looking at the mid-afternoon sky in a melancholy mood. She hugged her knees as she remembered Urahara's words.

_"…I'll never forgive myself for that night, it should have been me caring the burden you do, it should have been me that had suffered." _His words rang clearly in her heart, the night she'd woken up from her hollowfication, he bowed down at her bedside, he told her his own burden, his trial. From then on he'd always wear a pained smile while looking at her, he was always kind to her but he always held that same look in his eyes, a look of self-hatred, of anger, and of burden… she knew that look, she hated that look, because it's what keeps the one person she loves at bay.

"the same eyes…they have the same eyes." She whispered.

"who does?" Shinji questioned from the doorway as he closed it. she widened her eyes at the sound of his voice and shot him a dirty look.

"who the hell was talking to you idiot!" she demanded.

"you're the one who's an idiot muttering to herself." He shot back. She turned red in embarrassment.

"I was thinking out loud you're just a sneaking bastard who's always spying on me!" she countered. Shinji froze at her accusation, any other day she would've been wrong but today… she was right on track.

"see you don't even have comeback cause you know it's true!!" she added reacting to his expression. He quickly composed himself after her comment.

"stupid, it was just so ridiculous I didn't want to dignify it with an answer." He defended quickly.

"sure like I'm gonna believe that." She replied sarcastically. He sent her a glare as he continued making his way towards her.

"mind telling me why you're so pissy?" he inquired sitting beside her put the plate he held beside himself. she scooted away from him creating a small amount of distance, she felt uneasy as her heart was slowly unraveling, the last person who needed to see her upset was shinji.

"yeah actually I do, so piss off!" she demanded avoiding his eyes. He stared up into the distance ignoring her response, the sky in it's own way seem to sooth both their uneasy souls.

"it's already 2 in the afternoon… the morning just flew by." He mused out loud.

"whatever." She hastily replied, standing up from her spot. "I wanna be alone." Before she could take two steps forward, Shinji, who was still sitting, wrapped his arms around her embracing her from behind. She blushed furiously and squirmed in his arms trying to break free.

"Let go!! You little- I said let go!!" she demand trying to loosen his hold only to have him rest his chin on her shoulder, she felt his breath softly tickle her ear and frozen turning as red as her jacket. "Shinji… I said to let me go." She stated more calmly almost pleadingly.

"but you smell good." was his only reply in a whinny voice. She scowled in embarrassment.

"that's no reason- this isn't the time-

"it'll never be the time for stuff like this, for stuff like this you gotta make time." he corrected holding her slightly tighter, he could almost feel the warmth radiating of her cheeks.

"bastard." She muttered cursing him, he grinned widely as he felt her ease in his arms and resign. _"Sweet victory_." He thought. She sighed in frustration.

"what do you want?" she demanded in an unusually calm voice. She turned slightly in his arms to face him.

"you." He teased grinning lecherously. She turned red as she smacked him.

"asshole be serious!" she demanded. He rubbed the cheek she'd smacked in pain.

"ow… I was trying to lighten the mood." He justified sorely.

"well you sucked at it, now tell me what you w-wa." She froze mid-sentence as he laid his head on her shoulder tightening their newly positioned embrace. He smirked, it definitely felt great to leave a girl like Hiyori speechless. " I swear you're not gonna stop until I really kick your ass."

"Nothing stopped you before, you just haven't done it cause you like this." He taunted, she turned red at the accusation. " I feel those cheeks of yours glowin' red, am I making you blush Hiyori?" he teased he felt her tense up in his arms and chuckled. "I'm guessing that's a yes."

"if I kiss you will you let me go?" She bargained in a meek voice so foreign from her usual tone, he almost didn't believe it was her.

"no." he replied loosening the embrace and looking her in the eye. Her tea colored eyes seem to glaze over in soften manner as he look towards her, unable to notice his expression had soften as well. "I want you to tell me why you're so mad."

"I'm always mad." She retorted.

"yes but you usually have some reason." He replied searching her eyes for the truth, she looked away knowing he was trying to read her.

"…it's nothing, I woke up in a crappy mood, it's not that big of a deal." She lied in a soft voice, her took her chin and forced her to look at him.

"that's a lie, just tell me the truth." He asked in genuine concern, she looked away from his eyes and instead wrapped her arms around his neck embracing him tightly.

"I can't tell you..." she replied trying to make him understand, her voice sounded so broken, Shinji felt as if something had pierced his heart.

"you can tell me anything." He soothed holding her tenderly. She eased the embrace slightly to face him, this time her eyes lost their rebellious spark.

"all you need to know is that… I'm fine, especially here." She replied easing into his arms.

"idiot I need more than that, I need to know how to protect you, I need to know what could possibly piss you off-

"kisuke… he says hi." She interrupted still buried in chest unable to see his not-so-shocked reaction.

"is- is that so? You saw him today?" he asked faking a surprised response.

"… I hate him." She whispered bitterly.

"you don't mean that." He replied cradling her head on his neck.

"I hate you too." She added spitefully, unaware of just how much damage words of that quality induced on the vizard.

"is that right?" he countered nonchalantly not displaying his obviously pained heart. She knew the words hurt him, but she was hurting too.

"I don't need protecting, I hate it when you two look at me like I'm some fragile little porcelain doll." She retorted. He chuckled at the idea of Hiyori being fragile.

"idiot, we do that cause we care… cause we lo-

"don't say it!" she demanded blushing. "I hate both of you! I don't want your pity!"

He grabbed her shoulders and looked her right in the eye.

"it's not pity I'm offering, it's my heart." He corrected. She blushed bright red as her left hand placed itself on his chest right above his heart.

"your heart…" she repeated blushing, he smiled pressing his forehead to hers.

"yeah, that thing they shape all the valentines after." He clarified.

"idiot." She sighed. "I still hate you." Her right hand lightly brushed across his cheek.

"I'm sure." He teased. "show me how much you "hate" me." he leaned in closer smirking as his hands casual found their way to her waist and grasped it possessively.

She blushed at the feel of his hands and gasping slightly.

"as-asshole, I already offered a kiss, you refused it, it's not my problem." She countered her face as red as lobster. He nuzzled his nose against her neck.

"that's because you were lying to me, now I want a kiss." He taunted.

"well I won't bend over backwards for every little demand you have." She countered huffily.

"ooh bending backwards, I have yet to see if you're so flexible, don't starting give me ideas… I just might use 'em." He ribbed lewdly as kissed her neck.

"prev!!" she shouted as she smacked him upside the head.

"you know you'd think after at least a century you'd know when I was just fooling around!" he whined rubbing his head lightly.

"I do." She replied narrowing her eyes. "you weren't."

He chuckled as she glared at him.

"you're an idiot." She sighed as she kisses his cheek softly, his laughter ceases at feel of her lips. Every time she kissed him he'd relive every other kiss they'd had

"I'll be in my room." She stated smiling as the ex-captain was still in space, his cheeks slightly red.

"_I want them both to wake up, to see I don't need to be fussed over, that the choices that I made brought me the life I've lived, not the choice they made and as much misery as this path has brought, it's also brought something wonderful… a family." _Hiyori thought as she headed downstairs.


	5. Chapter 5: ficlets

* Hey guys I know this isn't really a fic but it's like a bunch of little ficlets, stuff I wanna write about but I keep getting stumped, as you can see as you go down they get longer, the last one was a doozy, but I hope you like them! Give me some feed back and some love!! I take request but just warnin' I don't do smut, sorry just don't like it, if u read it that's cool, doesn't mean I'll write it.*

Stolen

"oh no!! you hear me!! you can forget it!!" she shouted as he cornered her on the couch, her bright blush baiting him further, he smirked as leaned even closer. "you hear me asshole I said-" Before she could finish his lips had softly brushed against hers. He stood up from the couch leaving her in shock with a cute blush on her freckled cheeks.

"nothing tastes better that stolen kisses." He taunted leaving the room.

Rain

He found on her on the roof soaked from head to toe letting the rain seep into her clothing, she glanced over at him put said nothing and looked back at the melancholy sky, he wrapped his arms around her small frame offering the comfort her eyes begged for. he wished it was only rain her tasted as kissed her cheeks but rain drops don't taste quite as salty and bitter as her tears.

Sneeze

Normally a small sneeze was passed off as someone gossiping about you but after seven sneezes in a row, shinji ordered her to get to bed. "asshole this ain't nothing someone just shooting their mouth of about me!!" she shouted. "boke you have a cold, you're nowhere near that popular." He countered only to feel a hard sandal to the face.

Honey

He stifled a chuckle as she got on her tip-toes to reach for the honey jar, she sent him warming glare and he merely winked at her, she huffed and looked away but was unable to control her blush, he smirked triumphantly. She poured hot tea into her mug and then his, though she'd usually say "whatever I made too much just drink it and shut up!" trying to deny her token of affection towards him. She quietly sat next to him and placed both mugs down along with the honey jar. "honey?" she offered as she finished mixing a spoonful of it into her tea. "yes dear?" he taunted giving her toothy grin, she punched him straight in face ignoring his scream as she calmly sipped her tea.

Red

The first time they'd ever gone on a secret "outing" (a date as it's called in modern times), Hiyori decided she would let her hair down (as the blond had begged her) wear a salmon pink kimono (Hikifune had given her for her birthday) and… grudgingly even decided to paint her lips a faint ruby red. Needless to say the long haired captain barely recognized her, he only spotted her by her height and hair color when she turned around to face him, he blushed brightly he didn't think Hiyori could look cuter…apparently he was wrong. Red was the color her cheeks wore as he wouldn't stop staring at her painted lips.

Sleepless

He didn't miss her, he didn't care she was mad, he didn't miss the smell of her hair or the sound of her faint breathing… it didn't matter, he wouldn't sleep either way. Just because sometimes when she was there he'd get a wink or two of sleep didn't mean anything. He'd just stare ceiling…counting the spots on the tile…. 2,3002, 2,3003…

"please sleep…for me." he heard her faint voice beg from his doorway. He shot up at the sound to see a tired Hiyori leaning against the door. Damn it all he couldn't refuse her… even if she'd started the fight, even if she was wrong. she crawled into his bed and held him tightly.

"sleep…please." She begged her guilt consuming her, he kissed her cheek as he spread blanket over her. "I will…I promise" He lied closing his eyes, he didn't miss the faint sigh of relief she gave out as she nuzzled in his arms. He didn't sleep a minute but…he'd never get so close to it without her.

Bad Romance

After watched the music video and hearing Lady Gaga's new song, Shinji had boldly stated she was his first love and to no surprised Hiyori tossed a very heavy weight at his face.

"how's that for a bad romance." She teased as he held his broken nose.

"…you're so…jealous." He taunted between coughs, he was met with sandal to the face.

"je veux ton amour (I want your love)." He shouted as she left the room.

"et je veux ton revange (and I want your revenge)." She replied actually meaning the words.

Tender

"get over here asshole, your sash is on crooked!!" She scolded as she loosened his obi, forcefully, despite his remarks. "Oii!! Let go! It doesn't look that bad! Geez I was just tired from all that paper work!" he complained with bags still under his eyes. Hiyori merely rolled her own eyes and flicked his nose as she finished retying his obi, though her comments were brash and rude, her hands had been gentle and slow to fix his Kimono, which did not go unnoticed by all. shinji stuck his tongue out as she and Kisuke left heading towards their squad barracks. "Hage! a captain should at least be able to dress himself, what a disgrace!" she mocked. He growled in anger.

"what was- …since when is Hiyori so tender?"Love questioned. Shinji inwardly blushed but said nothing. "Tender my ass! She always needs something to complain about." He remarked.

Illegible

"I'm so so sorry Lieutenant, it's just be few more seconds… the flowers they're quite …well a lot!" the nurse explained as Hiyori's room had been filled with dozens of flowers. Hiyori blushed as another shinigami brought an even bigger vase, and his friend carrying a similar amount of flowers. The small girl covered her scowl with her sheet as the two men looked at her in confusion. She knew what they were thinking "who the hell loves her so much!" the nurse gave her small smile.

"that's the last of it Lieutenant unfortunately we don't know who sent all this but they did leave this note but the strange thing is it's completely illegible." The woman commented, Hiyori looked at note and smiled gently, she pressed to her chest and closed her eyes.

"of course you can't… it's backwards." She smiled blushing.

The Chariot

"oh come on Pharaoh let me out, I promise not have too much fun." His hollow coaxed as he lied awake in the middle of the night. Shinji narrowed his eyes annoyance, he was so sleep deprived he'd fallen into his inner world. His doppelganger smirked.

"you're too boring, being cooped up in this little shack has had it's toll on you too, I can see it! you want to break free! You want to let go of that rage-

"shut up, you're so annoying."Shinji interrupted passively it took a lot to wither his patience, his hollow knew that but being alone left him so little to do but try to break that little strand of sanity his pharaoh had left. The blond man merely stared at the reverse sunset before him, as the sandy plains of his mind portrayed his desolate heart.

"asshole, you're the one whose annoying! Always so still, the only fun we get is training and you never let me have any fun there either!" his hollow complained further.

"you can keep talking I'm just going to tune you out, Chariot." Shinji replied idly calling the hollow by it's self-proclaimed name.

"keh." it replied in scorn, he suddenly smirked as realization dawned on him, he had yet to see his vicious queen in a long time.

"oii Pharaoh, when am gonna get to see my queen, I've missed her so dearly." The hollow whined teasingly he saw Shinji twitch at the mention of his pigtailed lover and smirked he knew he hit the mark.

"don't."Shinji warned. The hollow merely smirked.

"I remember the last time, oh her little face twisted in fear… she looked so cute shaking like that-."

"I said-." Shinji interrupted standing immediately clutching his sword.

"but you know what I really miss-." the hollow knew it had won, it widen it's grin as Shinji shook in rage.

"you bastard!-

"the taste of her sweet blood, it's so delicious." The hollow cackled wildly licking its lips.

A loud growl ripped from Shinji's throat as he launched himself at the hollow, it merely countered with its own blade and laugh hysterically.

"that's it Pharaoh play with me for a little bit, then." It paused to evade another swing of his sword. "then I'll got play with the Queen!!" he taunted. Shinji keep attacking viciously but the hollow dodged all his blows, Shinji grunted in frustration.

"pretty, pretty Queen Hiyori, I'll be with you soon" the hollow sang in its eerie voice. "don't they taste just like honey? Pharaoh." The hollow questioned flipping away from Shinji's attack. "those tiny little fanged lips." It teased.

"don't you dare talk about her!!!!!" Shinji demanded savagely swing his sword.

"you're so selfish Pharaoh, what's mine is yours…your heart, your mind… and even your woman." The monster explained. Shinji gripped his sword tightly, just because he was patient man by nature didn't mean he would show his hollow why exactly he was the pharaoh and it was the chariot.

Shinji awakened from his inner world hours after fighting his inner hollow, his body drenched in cold sweat. He glanced beside him to see Hiyori silently sleeping. He sighed in content, even in her sleep she scowled but that didn't make her any less cute. He kissed her forehead tenderly. his mind and his heart weren't his or his hollow's, they belonged to her. and as long she was there he'd stay sane.

REVIEWS MAKE MY HEART HAPPY! Please remember no flames I know I suck, but hey it's a public website if you want talent go to the good section of barnes and nobles.


	6. Chapter6:anything but love, baby

One would come to the conclusion that the older one is the less and less meanings birthdays would hold but surprisingly such was not the case, the Vizards held celebrations for everyone's birthday, they'd drink and they'd party like an 18 yr old who was on top of the world! As shinji straightened his tie he couldn't help but realize why… _"the only reason we celebrate another year as morbid as it sounds is that… none of us should have lived a second longer after our hollowfication, being bless with life for as short as year is… is something to be grateful for."_ He mused. His friends had been zealous and energetic on the morning of his birthday Mashiro gave him huge hug while the rest sent him smiles and congratulations, even Kensei seemed slightly chipper and in an act of rare kindness Hiyori had managed to keep her sandal to herself and of course in the morning he had received an even rarer treat.

_"wake up… I know you're faking." Hiyori beckoned as he slowly opened his eyes only take his pillow and place it over his head._

_ "too… early…" he replied in groggy voice, just cause he didn't sleep didn't mean he didn't want too._

_ "get up before I get mean." She threatened taking the pillow, she earned scowl from the ex-captain._

_ "since when aren't you mean?" he questioned snatching the pillow from her. her left eye twitched, she could only be patient for so long._

_ "idiot get the hell up I want to wish you a happy birthday!!!" she demanded taking the pillow and hitting him with it repeatedly, he thanked whatever benevolent force had encouraged her to use the pillow and not her fists._

_ "okay! Ack okay I'm up!" he complied sit up letting the covers slid off him. She smiled in triumph even on his birthday she had to get her way. He pouted as his tired eyes glared at her._

_ "ya happy now?" he demanded, she nodded mischievously._

_ "very." She stated placing her hand over his cheek. He blushed as she was very rarely so tender with him. She smiled genuinely as he gave her grateful smile, he intertwine their hands and brought her closer._

_ "happy birthday." She declared in a loving voice kissing his cheek gently. He held her loosely in his arms while for the rest of the morning they "snuggled" if one could call it that. _

They took him to a jazz club, his favorite, though hacchi did not join them he gave their leader a kind present and a fatherly smile. It was blissful having the people he cared out about surround him, he drank and laughed as they joked around and celebrated. Mashiro had even convince Kensei to dance to upbeat tempo swinging her weightlessly across the floor. Shinji couldn't help but smile, what more could a man want, friends, drinks, and of course music… he'd close his eyes from time to time humming along with the high pace melodies, he listened to the soothing music that washed away the worries and thoughts that clouded his mind and in secret right under the table his finger were tightly intertwined with that of his lover.

Her brown eyes showing her rare but real tender side, it took all the control he had not kiss her, he looked around as he saw Love and Rose were quite entertained with some very cute young ladies and Lisa had allowed a few gentlemen to guide her to the dance floor, while they were caught up their own dealing, shinji kissed not Hiyori's lips but he settled for her hand instead, she blushed brightly as he leaned and whispered. "the night is still young… I'll have you all to myself soon." His coy taunting voice sent shivers down her spine. They separated in space but their hands never unlaced. Eventually night came and their friends headed home.

"…that was so much WEEEEE fun!!"Mashiro hiccupped as kensei had tossed her over his shoulder the fair girl had had quite lot to drink and in her mind was still spinning.

"idiot, that's the last time I let you drink so much, you're getting too heavy." The gray haired excaptain complained as his ex-lieutenant hit his back with her fist.

"meanie kenseeei!!! How dare you say that *hiccup* a laaady!!" she slurred huffily. Lisa and rest shook their heads.

"we're getting out before Mashiro gets us kicked out." The brunette stated placing her hand on her hip. "you two coming?" she inquired. Thought secretly everyone knew the two would stay behind like every year. Just because the two were discreet about their romantic life didn't mean the rest didn't know it existed.

"the night's still young and I'd just be bored at home." Shinji explained grinning. Hiyori gave an excuse along the same lines and of course everyone (for Shinji's sake) bit back their teasing comments and left the two to their venture. As much as they tried to hide it a look of gratefulness seemed to shine within the two blonds. Their friends left the club and headed home with doggy bag for Hacchi of course.

"those two never change." Lisa began rejecting the silence of the street corners. She shivered slightly as the nightfall brought not only it's darkness but it's chill.

"it's just their nature, birds fly, fish swim, and those two…" Rose paused as he had begun removing his jacket and placed it on Lisa's shoulder. She smiled kindly at the taller man.

"those two sneak around." Love finished giving Rose a suspicious look for his sudden act of chivalry, the blond blushed and replied nothing to his silent accusation.

"I wonder what they act like… neither of them is the lovey crap type." Lisa mused tapping her chin. Both men shrugged.

"they're kinda like those two…" Love pointed at the other couple of their group, Kensei had decided to walk ahead of them and was now just barely in view. "Kensei not for the lovey crap either but he's pretty whipped when it comes to that girl."

"we all know Shinji's whipped I'm just wondering if they're romantic with one another." Lisa replied correcting her fore mentioned question.

"who knows they've seem to make work." Rose replied. "Love is what we mold it to be." He stated quoting a famous writer that had popped into mind.

"still… I'm curious…" the woman continued mischievously, the two men twitch as the look on her faced seem signal impending doom.

"whatever you're cooking up in that twisted mind of yours better simmer down." Love advised.

"you know what they said curiosity killed the cat." Rose added. The ex-lieutenant scoffed.

"I'm a vizard not a cat, and I once and for all am going to see those two as couple!" she declared turning and around and following the faint sense of hiyori's reaitsu.

"… we should just turn around and pretend we saw nothing." Love countered. Rose seemed to stare back and forth between the determined vizard and his best friend.

"we can't just leave her-

"lisa's a big girl." Love interrupted. Lisa turned around at the sound of her name.

"oii Rose, Love you coming or what?" she demanded tapping her foot. At her beckoning the blond man rushed off.

"hai, I'm coming!" the tall man replied. Love shook his head in disappointment and grudgingly joined them.

"alright I'm game but we better not get arrested… again!" he commented walking besided.

"the brings back memories…" Lisa replied nostalgically.

"the 60's sure were something." Her blond companion added.

* * *

As the trio of vizards searched fervently for their leader and his lover, Shinji was in a tailored boutique waiting for Hiyori to change into yet another dress, the other three she had placed on hadn't been his cup of tea. With the quick sound a zipper snapping upwards the curtain slid open and the blond girl grudgingly stepped out in an olive green dress, the design was simple enough but the fact it was strapless made it a little more interesting to the blond ex-captain, he smirked as the girl inspected herself in the mirror, she sighed in frustration.

"I hate this one too!" she declared huffily. The saleswoman seemed to twitch at the sound of her irritated voice. The blond man shook his head.

"I know, now turn and let me get a good look at you." He asked calmly. Surprising the girl complied without one biting comment. He scanned her up and down and asked her to turn once more, he clicked his tongue and cocked his head to his side to get different angle, as lovely as both the girl and the dress were something just didn't look right. "… nope… not this one." He thought taking one last look he darted his eyes to her backside "Though… her ass looks amazing in it." a wicked smiled placed itself on his lips.

"hey! You done staring at my ass!" she demanded crudely, he chuckled slightly as her face had turned scarlet from feeling his leering eyes.

"yeah just a sec… now I'm imagining you naked." He teased crooking his head to the side smiling wickedly. She shook in rage and embarrassment. The saleswoman turned red at their crude language.

"dickhead!! Don't say things like that!" Hiyori scowled coming up to him and tugging his hair sharply, though it hurt, it was obviously she was restraining herself, usually he would've been flying through the window.

"hsss akh okay! I'm sorry!" he hissed in pain as he felt his nickname baldy might become a reality if she keep tugging so hard. She let go then embraced him, he sighed he'd fallen in love with a crazy person. Right about this moment Lisa and her companions had finally spotted them. Though Hiyori's reaitsu was weak from her gigai they still picked up a faint trail of it.

"…that can't…no way." Love commented with an open mouth as they watched the two lover interact from the window. Their little hiyori looked very different in an olive green cocktail dress not to mention her hair was down and she was in quite the compromising position with their leader.

"…hiyori's…a woman?" Rose questioned blankly as his mind was still registering the fact their second in command was pretty… mature looking.

"you just noticed?" Lisa shot back sarcastically. Her gaze seemed motherly as the blond girl laughed at something their leader had said. Shinji teased her by pinching her thigh earning a noggie.

"…wow I've never seen Hiyori laugh like that." Love stated. "I've never seen her look so…"

"happy." Rose finished. All three seemed to take comfort in the fact that their youngest member could in fact show and display other emotions beside sadness and rage.

"she's beautiful." Lisa whispered feeling a tender like warmth grace her heart. Hiyori had become a younger sister to her, she'd always wanted Hiyori to feel there was more to life than what they trained for, that happiness even in this cruel world, did exist. The blond girl didn't share many things with people but on rare occasion usually when Shinji was gone she'd find comfort in the perverted ex-lieutenant.

The blond girl had detached herself from the ex-captain and let out loud sigh.

"do I have to try on another one?" she whined slouching in a very unlady like manner.

"yup."He nodded. a loud groan followed his response. He couldn't help but let out a chuckle. She narrowed her eyes at him.

"fine but one more and that's it, it's almost 10pm , I made those reservations 10:30pm, if we are late I will kill you." She warned poking his chest irritably, he rolled his eyes.

"yeah, yeah we won't be late I got it." he replied dryly. She gave him one last glare before stepping into the dressing room and choosing one of the random dresses they'd picked out before hand.

"which one you get?" he questioned twirling his hat in a bored manner. The blond girl shuffled in the dressing room trying slip out of her previous dress.

"the dark blue one." She replied from behind the curtain. He his hat slipped from his fingers as he perked up from her response.

"the strappy one?" he questioned a bit too eagerly, grinning. No reply came immediately as she still trying place the dress on.

"yeah… why?" she inquired accusingly finally adjusting the dress around her tiny waist.

"no reason just wondering." He replied innocently. A scoffed came from the other side of the curtain. He smirked, she knew him all too well. After few minutes he heard a grunt of frustration.

"you 'kay?" he questioned in slight concern.

"yeah just this frickin' dress has like a hundred straps on the back, I can barely reach them." She complained.

"maybe I can be of assistance?" he offered humbly his lecherous tone bringing her ears to burn bright red.

"n-no it's fine I got it." she replied cursing herself for stuttering. Even from behind the curtain she knew his face held that perverted grin from ear to ear. She heard his footsteps trail closer to the curtain.

"you sure?" he asked huskily leaning against the wall right beside the curtain. She felt her face grow warm… one side of her shouted "NO WAY" but the other countered with the fact that she was dressed, and it was only her back that was bare. She smiled slightly, she did look hot in the dress. _"Alright, it's his birthday."_ She thought as she composed herself and beckoned him.

"alright but watch them hands of yours." She warned, she turned red as he opened the curtain and stepped inside. He let out a small whistle admiration. Though he would've preferred to see it on his bedroom floor the dress looked very…very nice on her.

She looked away annoyed with his leering looks.

"well don't you look nice." He teased gently taking her chin making her face him, she blushed and frowned.

"shut it." she demanded. " I need help tying the straps on the back." She stated turning to reveal her very bare back. He smirked as she blushed… he definitely liked this dress. He carefully slid his index finger down her small back, perfect… if it wasn't for that damn scar. He narrowed his eyes as memories of that night seem to flood in.

"shinji." She called awakening him from his dark memory, she glanced at him with worried look, he gave her coy smile.

"maybe we should skip dinner and just go straight for dessert." He taunted grinning widely. She slapped his hand away from her bare skin, inwardly denying she enjoyed his touch.

"forget it." she stated huffily. "don't make me kick the crap outta you in a dress store." She warned.

"so violent geez, it was a joke." He countered in defense She narrowed her eyes honey brown eyes.

"yeah sure." She replied sarcastically, he shook his head knowing there was no winning with his irritated girlfriend. "just sit down and help me tie these things." She demanded pointing at the straps at sides of her dress. He grinned lecherously and sat down on the small bench.

"if I must." He replied in mock humility. She rolled her eyes, blushing as he seemed take his sweet time tying each strand, making sure to let his cool fingers kiss her exposed skin. She'd shiver from time to time, and even biting back a moan or two. He'd just smirked humming an old provocative tune that just happened to have popped his head.

"…they've sure have been there awhile you don't think-

"NO no no! don't even think about finishing that sentence!" Love warned his blond comrade.

"don't worry, Hiyori's not that type of girl." Lisa replied dryly.

"I don't who she is anymore after all this… geez when did she go and grow up on me!" Love countered.

"it's the pigtails…they're so misleading!" Rose agreed. "our little hiyori's all grown up."

"how hard do think it would be to have sex in a changing booth so small?" Lisa mused tapping her chin. Both men twitched in disgust.

"… need…brain soap! Ahh!!" Rose complained turning pale at the thought.

"oh god holding-in-the-vomit!" love announced as the image of their leaders "doing it" really seem nauseate him. Lisa was still deep in thought

"plus their height difference would be a problem, though if she locked her ankles tight enou-

"AHH! Lalala not listening, not listening!" Love exclaimed covering his ears.

"Lisa… you really should keep thoughts like that to yourself." Rose added having a very sickly look on his face.

"you two sound like a couple of middle school girls." She taunted. The two men just shook their heads.

Finally the two leaders emerged from the dressing room, one with a very noticeable blush and the other a very noticeable handprint on their face.

"you're lucky I didn't kill you." She seethed huffing away grabbing her bag. He gave out a cheeky grin rubbing his red cheek slightly.

"totally worth it." he replied impishly. So grabbing her ass wasn't the smartest thing to do, but damn it! it was almost irresistible. She walked away from him swaying her little hips in that dark sapphire dress, her uncovered back left so little to the imagination but that didn't stop him from having a few daydreams.

"hey dumbass get over here, you're paying for this stupid thing!!" she demanded as she had reached the front counter. He lazily complied while picking up a small black shawl for her.

"add this to the bill please." He asked in a bored manner. She looked at him raising a brow in confusion.

"you cause I wanna see your back doesn't mean I want other people seeing your back." He responded to her silent question. She blushed as she had felt a few eyes on her. her scar was quite distracting, and her uncovered skin even more so. As the little girl behind the counter rang up the price and removed the price tags from the dress (with hiyori still in it.) shinji opened up his wallet.

"that'll be $ 217.94 (A.N. I don't know the value of yens… sorry)." the girl announced taking his credit card. He cringed at hearing how of a big hole had been burnt in his pocket. _"…WHAT THE HELL!! WHY AM I PAYING SO-_

"do you think these shoes go with it?" Hiyori interrupted placing her leg at the skim of her side cut dress, her cute little legs… he sighed _"that's why I'm paying so much."_ He replied to his own questioned. If he wanted to see hiyori in a dress, it had to be one of the finest and for his taste the sexiest.

"yeah, they match." He replied as the girl handed him the credit card and bid them a good day. Shinji gently placed the black shawl around her petite arms wrapped it to the side. Hiyori's eyes soften at the tenderness of his touch.

"that good?" he asked wondering if he had placed it on correctly, she nodded and smiled, they walked on and headed outside the store and were met with cold chill. The small girl shivered and moved in closer to shinji hoping his body would provide warmth. He had on a long beige trench coat and seemed to have no annoyance towards the cool weather. He looked down at his quivering lover and smiled in amusement.

"cold?" he questioned placing his arm around her. she nodded pouting.

"a little but… not so much now." She replied blushing as he had provided as much warmth as she had expected. He kissed her head charmed by her cute mannerisms.

"baka…" she muttered under her breath, her ears turning quite red. He merely grinned. Though her smile was cute her pout was even cuter.

While the two lovers were (literally) wrapped up in each other, the three wayward vizards were hidden among the bushes.

"lisa I think we should just go home now, you saw them be all cutesy take what you can get and let's go." Love whispered as faintly as he could.

"as if! I gotta see this, it might be the only time we ever get to see them like this, besides… think of teasing material we'd have on them." Lisa countered in a harsh whisper.

"you're too cruel." Rose dramatized. "we should leave these starcrossed lovers on their own! T'is not our eyes that are meant for watching them."

"…drama king." Lisa teased dryly. "you guys know you're curious too,come on!" she quarreled.

"Sorry Lisa but I've got agree with Love on this one, we've already seen them anything else would just be a lack of respect for privacy." Rose argued.

"yeah! We're lucky they didn't catch us, look hiyori maybe small but… she's mean." Love added.

"keh! Fine but one day you'll regret it." she huffed grudgingly agreeing to head home. The two men sighed in relief.

"alright we're on fifth plane avenue… so we go…shit! Were going to have walk slowly, the way home is right in the direction those two are headed." Rose calculated. Groans emerged from his fellow vizards.

"thanks a lot lisa." Love stated sarcastically.

"hey how was I suppose to know!" she countered.

"if we would've just headed home-

"you act like somebody forced you!" she interrupted.

"you're so damn capricious, everyone knows you always gotta get your way." Love retorted. Lisa scowled and readied her argument before Rose interjected.

"okay enough!! It's everyone's fault, look I think there's a starbuck's a few blocks from here, how about some coffee my treat, by the time we're done they'll be gone and we can shunpo home, okay?" Rose offered trying to calmed both fighters.

"fine." They chorused grouchily turning their heads to look away from one another.

"you two…are gonna be the death of me." The blond vizard sighed. "the absolute death of me."

* * *

"try the wine, it's actually pretty good." Shinji offered as hiyori had finished tasting her rice. She took the offered cup and savored it.

"for wine it's not too bad, uck it's sweet though." She opinioned setting the glass before him and continued to eat.

"it's kinda boorish to drink scotch during a meal."Shinji countered. "wine looks at tad bit more classy"

"yeah whatever." She replied rolling her eyes, she couldn't care less about classiness. "the salmon's really good, I'm kinda glad I choose it over the steak." She added trying to continue the conversation.

"really? Let me see." Shinji replied incredulously, his fork reached over to her plate and stole a small sample. She narrowed her eyes, she hated when he picked food of her plate. "not bad… still I prefer the steak, it's amazing." He stated picking up a small piece, offering it to the girl, she grudgingly accepted it. her eyes lit up, it actually tasted really good.

"wow… see now I regret the salmon." She retorted with a pout earning a chuckle from her boyfriend.

"it's fine we'll share." He proposed. "I actually wanted some of your salad too."

"always lookin' at what'cha can't have." She scowled jokingly. He grinned and kissed her cheek.

"that's how I got you wasn't it?" he teased, she looked away hoping her red blush wouldn't betray her… yet of course it did.

"teme, you think you're such a smooth talker." She retorted annoyed by his antics.

"you're the one who loves me." he shot back.

"don't make me regret it." she replied taking his wine as sipping slowly.

"I thought you didn't wanna share?" he accused with an amused smile.

"I like the way it taste…sweet but it's bitter too." She added taking another sip. He stole the cup from her lips.

"I didn't know they made Hiyori flavored wine." He teased drinking the last of it. she kicked his shin.

"are you saying I'm bitter!" she bit back, he cringed in pain…his poor shin…it was so abused.

"I'm saying you're a mix, too much of anything is a bad thing, besides, you taste sweeter than any wine." He flirted. She couldn't help but melt at the sight of that leering smile, god she loved that bastard.

"s-shut up." She replied looking away shyly, her stutter made him laugh. That idiot, didn't he know how out of place she felt, in a dress, in a restaurant… it was so different from who she was, but it was worth it to see him look at her like he was right that second… like he was in love. He kissed her cheek once more.

"you look beautiful, you shouldn't feel so misplaced." He stated sensing her uneasiness. She placed her hand on her chest, she felt dizzy, queasy, and her heart was going a million per hour.

"stop saying weird crap like that!" she ordered shaking her head hoping to shake the strange feeling pumping in her heart.

"112 years and you still can't handle a little compliment … you're so cute." He teased, she held on to her pout as long as she could but the minute their eyes met, she let out a giggle out.

"you're an idiot." She laughed softly. He stuck out his pierced tongue. Her eyes shined in a more confident light, he always made her feel like one of kind.

"I'm rubber you're glue." He countered childishly.

"keep sticking that tongue out and I'm gonna rip the piercing right off-

"_**AAAAaaaaaaAAAAAAAaaaaaaAaa!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!" **_The soul shredding scream of a hollow ripped right through their senses. Shinji gripped his glass so hard it shattered in his hand.

"a hollow… a big one…" the blond girl stated so startled by it's scream, her body became stiff.

"it's alright… the towm shinigami will be there soon enough." Shinji replied hoping to restrain her, as her hands had balled up into fists from the anxiety.

"they won't be quick enough." He retorted her fire was slowly returning, she was about to stand before shinji tightly clasped her wrist. She narrowed her eyes and demanded he let go off her. he could feel the rage and sorrow in her heart, her eyes told him everything.

"that isn't our job anymore, it's not-

"I don't care she's screaming! You can hear her too, that little girl!" she said breaking free from his hold. Her zanapaktou ready at hand, invisible to the human eye. Shinji sighed running his hand through his hair.

" 112 years… and that caring heart of yours won't harden." He stated leaving his money on the table and idly walking out the front door. From then on he shunpoed hoping to catch up his distraught lover.

* * *

"somebody!!! Anybody… PLEASE!!! HELP!!" a small girl shouted as she held her baby brother in her arms. The hollow had cornered them in the middle of a secluded park. She let another shout before awaiting the demons claws.

"HEEEEELLLLLPPPPPPPP!!" she exclaimed in tears.

"_**"Carriage of Thunder. Bridge of a spinning wheel. With light, divide this into six! Bakudo 61 rikujokoro!!!" **_Hiyori incanted as the hollow was paralyzed within the spell. She appeared infront of the children.

"get the hell away from here as fast as you can… if you see a man with a big afro in black robes…he'll help you." Hiyori ordered to the lost spirit, she so shocked from the fear she couldn't move.

"What the hell are you waiting for!! a personal invitation get outta here NOW!!" The ex-shinigami ordered. The child perked up in terror and ran as fast her legs could take her holding her baby brother tightly. Hiyori turned back to the screaming hollow.

"scum… I'm gonna make this a lot quicker than you deserve." she said unsheathing her sword and narrowing her eyes, she launched herself into the air and sliced through the demon with all her strength, blood showered down from gigantic beast staining her completely. It let out one final soul shattering screech before disappearing into the air.

"keh… barely worth the effort." She complained slicing the air shaking off the blood on her sword before sheathing it once more.

"Then why do it?" her lover questioned emerging from the shadows, she turned to face him blood covered and stained, he gave her a melancholy look.

"my lovely bride shouldn't be covered in blood." He stated walking towards her, she could see how angry and heartbroken he was… did he really hate seeing her fight so much? She stared down at the dress he's bought her…it was ruined spots of dark crimson over powered the lavished sapphire, everything from her hair to her shoes was ruined, she wondered…was she too?

"do I still look beautiful to you?" she questioned her eyes slowly misting up in tears. This who she really was not a dressed up doll but a warrior, a ruthless killer, drenched in the smell and taste of blood, who could every find someone like her beautiful.

"idiot." He replied kneeling down to be at eye level, she casted down her eyes. "nothing in this world could make you ugly in my eyes, even those hideous pigtails of yours." He lightly joked, she cracked a small smile.

"I'm sorry." She apologized as he took her into his arms, at the feel of his touch she dropped her sword carelessly.

"don't be… " he soothed holding her tightly. "it's not your fault." He wiped the crimson stains on her freckled face.

"I love you." She stated looking up at him, he smiled genuinely. Why did the one woman he actually love… have trouble believing it?

"I love you too." He responded as she inclined herself on her toes and met his lips with her own. He met her halfway and bent over slightly. "you don't taste like blood… you taste like bittersweet tears." He thought as he parted her lips with his tongue.

His kiss was soft and longing, hoping to erase the pain both felt in their hearts. She laced her arms around his neck deepening the kiss.

_"…I'm sorry I'm not the girl you wish I was…"_ she thought as his lips collided with her own. He slowly broke the kiss and held her tightly. She felt a drop of water touch her bare back. She held him tighter… he couldn't be crying… could he?

"… shinji…are you-." Several more drops interrupted her as a downcast of rain fell on the solemn lovers. A puddle of light rosy water formed underneath Hiyori's shoes. She looked downwards…all the blood was gone, shinji let go of the embrace and showed her his smiling face…she could barely notice… but… it wasn't just the heavens that wept, he had cried as well…

"see even God hates seeing a girl as pretty as you covered in blood." He teased trying lightened the mood, she tug his tie and brought him back to eye level, concern was written on her face as she wiped the indistinguishable tears along with rain on his face.

"it's not your fault… it's never been-

"not today, don't start** that** today." He begged bitterly holding her once more letting his lips meet her forehead.

"lets just pretend for a moment… one else exist but us." He whispered in her ear in the midst of the rain, she cried her own tears and held him tightly.

"okay…" she replied softly muffled by his strong chest…dadum… dadum…dadum, his heart beat seemed to steady. He kissed her forehead once more and started humming a favor tune of his.

"I can't give you anything but love, Baby…" he sang taking her small hands and rocking her to the beat in his heart. What could be more cliché…dancing in the rain. She looked at him smiled through her tears.  
"that's the only thing I've plenty of …Baby." He paused as he heard her giggle. "dream a while  
scheme a while" his voice wasn't the loveliest … but to her he sounded like a fallen angel.  
"we're sure to find happiness and I guess all those things you've always pined for." She hummed along with his voice.  
"Gee, I'd like to see you looking swell, my little baby." He continued smiling meaning everyword he sang . " diamond bracelets Woolworth doesn't sell, Baby."  
"Till that lucky day, you know darned well,Baby." He paused in middle of the note and kissed her gently.

"I can't give you anything but love." He finalized holding her in his arms.

"happy birthday." She whispered as the held each other under the heaven's tears.

He loved her… with all his heart, he regret ever meeting her and dragging her into this hell of a life of his but his selfish heart couldn't help but rejoice knowing that in the end… the handsome hero got the girl.


	7. Chapter7: reckless love

"you reckless…" the ex-captain let out a loud frustrated sigh. "…are you okay?" he asked in a calmer voice. Hiyori nodded avoiding his eyes. Their fellow vizards departed taking along with them their newest member, the strawberry boy looked on at the sight of the two in confusion.

"…is she going to be-

"she'll be fine, Hacchi's healing abilities are bar to none." Rose replied. The substitute shinigami inwardly disagreed but said nothing. He'd lost control once more and lashed out strong enough to come close to killing someone… not to mention a girl. His eyes gave away his inner turmoil, a look of self- hate and fear dimmed the light in his amber eyes. A strong hand woke him from his musings.

"don't be to hard on yourself, controlling it takes time, but if you wake up and see we're trying to help, maybe then you won't have to be so paranoid and guilt-ridden." Love advised. The young man nodded but stayed quiet.

"hacchi." A nonchalant voice called out from the distance. The old man looked on as their leader beckoned him. "mind takin' a look at this little midget?" shinji requested pointing to the grumbling girl next to him.

"yes of course." the old man replied rushing off to the aid his comrade meanwhile the other vizards tried to console Ichigo from his guilt.

Shinji, too concern with Hiyori to give a rat's ass about ichigo, leaned against the gray wall and silently observed as Hacchi's orange reaitsu surrounded hiyori's body, she was currently glancing at the floor whether in shame or in shock neither of the men knew. Her sandaled feet pressed against each other as she sat in a butterfly position her left arm prompted on her knee as she leaned her cheek on her left hand and held an empty look in her eyes. In the silence both blond's couldn't help but eventually glance at the other, though the minute they locked eyes they'd break contact.

"I'm done, how do you feel?" the pink haired man inquired. She looked up with a slightly grateful look.

"better, thanks." She mustered in a dry voice, as the words fell from her lips she casted her eyes back down to the concrete floor.

"good." The old man replied. "anything else?" he asked good naturedly. Shinji shook his head.

"nah thanks hacchi I can always count on you." The blond man replied smiling. Hacchi smiled back and left two blonds to themselves. Hiyori glance up at the vizard with her usual scowling disposition.

"it-

"save it!" shinji shouted startling her as her words died on her lips. "you are the most reckless, idiotic, impatient, and just downright retard person in the world!!!!" he exclaimed as the rage inside him seem vent off on every venom dripped word.

"damn it we couldn't just wait for the kid to slowly-

"why not!! Why not for once stick to the plan!!! why not just for once!! FOR FRICKIN' ONCE DO AS YOU'RE TOLD!!!!" he interrupted raising his voice. " you have always done things your own way and damn it hiyori you cannot say I haven't given you that freedom but for fucking!!- just that little bastard could have killed you!!!!

"you guys were right there!! You'd never let anything happen and damn it we fucking needed the kid to start NOW! WE DON'T HAVE TIME!!" she countered unable to take his reprimanding any longer.

"you think I'm an idiot or something, you think that that didn't come to mind, I knew exactly when to push him, I knew exactly how long I had to take and I knew exactly how long I had before we were too late but what I didn't calculate AS ALWAYS!! Was your stupid ass throwing me out of the building and forcing that kid to his mental limits and almost ripping the hollow out of him!!" Shinji retorted now only a foot from her.

"I did what I thought was right!!!" she countered raising her own voice further.

"no! you did what you wanted!! You did what you goddamned pleased AS FUCKING ALWAYS!! because god forbid you ever- EVER listen to me!! god forbid you think about others before yourself." He shouted his limit coming to an end, how could she be so selfish and stupid!

"others!!!, I was the only one in danger, fuck! For all you know that could've been you against that wall, I-

He forcefully grabbed her shoulders and pressed her against the mentioned wall. She grunted in pain as his shove had been quite forceful.

"I would rather be stabbed through my throat, then to ever have to watch some punk-ass, wannabe shinigami hold the woman I LOVE by the neck like a broken doll and crush the life out of her." he seethed in murderous rage grabbing her shoulders so tightly hiyori winced from the pain.

she looked away in shame, knowing that she'd put him through so much anxiety, but damn it all that's just who she was, she didn't wait! She didn't care! She wasn't a plan person ,she was a doer! She kicked! Punched! Sliced! But… she also loved and as wild and unpredictable as that love was, her life was not just hers, someone else very deeply cared for her, she looked up met his rage and sorrow filled eyes, he was hurt, he was angry… and it was her fault.

"I'm sorry… I just- you know me." was all she could muster to reply to his open confession. He his grip on her seem to wane as he tightened his arms around her, for a second she was startled but eased into the embrace as he began shaking, was…was he crying?

"shinji-

"boke… I can't believe you actually apologized… I don't think I've ever heard you say sorry." He chuckled in joy. "you actually listened…fuck… it's a miracle!"

She huffed, he wasn't crying he was laughing, the nerve of that asshole, she turned red and hit his stomach with her knee. "asshole that's the first and last time you'll hear it." knowing she was blantantly lying.

"you bitch! Owhh god." He wheezed from the pain.

"yeah be glad it was you're stomach not your balls!" she countered huffily.

"damn it woman yer gonna leave me sterile from all your abuse, then no kids!" he warned. She turned red and squirmed slightly at the idea of having children with Shinji… was she even allowed to be so optimistic.

"promise me you won't do something like that again." He begged redeeming his serious character, his eyes supplicating her to respond.

"I can't promise that, you know that." She replied in soft voice.

"can't you even try, please." He replied hoping his supplication would reach her ears. Though it did, it did not change who she was or how she was, her heart may have swoon over the ex-captain but her spirit was as free as ever.

"would you love me, if was anything but who I am?" she inquired searching his wounded eyes. Damn it all he couldn't escape that one, what made her so wonderful, so loveable, so her… was her reckless untamable spirit, he'd be fool to try to tame it… but still a man could dream. She smiled knowing he couldn't run away from the real answer.

"I love you the way you are, but that doesn't mean I wouldn't like you to be more careful." He replied as gently as he could. Without any warning she pressed her lips chastely to his, to merely taste the reason she could ever in her life think about listening to her voice of reason. As quickly as she had kissed him, she had broken away. He taste like chocolate and whiskey… what a strange man she'd fallen for.

"I'll think about it." was her only response as she hugged him tightly.

"…wha…" he replied still dazed from the kiss, she tasted like honey and laughter. He was met with uncharacteristic giggle from the blond girl.

"You'll never change." He sighed tightening the embrace, he loved her, god knows why but he did. he merely kissed her formally bruised neck lightly and pressed her against his chest. Even if it was only a moment he'd hold her as tightly as possible trying to protect her from whatever life would throw at them, and reluctantly she would play the part of the guarded maiden waiting for her idiot in shining armor.


	8. Chapter8 :confessions v1

I don't see what-." Hiyori grunted as she evaded another of shinji's blows. " the big deal is!!!" she complained as sweat trickled down her forehead. Shinji smirked as she tried coming at him only to flip away from her blow at the last second. She growled in agitation it'd been 3 hours and she couldn't even scratch him, _"so this is what his power is really like, I hate to say it but… he's impressive, though the hell I'll ever say it out loud."_ She thought privately.

"yer captain asked me to help train you, and well a sweet lady like Hikifune I just couldn't refuse." He replied nonchalantly blocking another blow. _"close this time, this little midget's actually got some fight in her, most people would've keeled over in exhaustion." _He mused.

"keh you can't refuse any woman who bats her eyelashes enough times."the lieutenant retorted in annoyance, she jumped away as his sword drew near her arm. _"he's so fast, I can barely keep up!"_

"You're so immature it's called being a gentleman." He corrected swinging his sword skillfully through the air as every now and then it would collide with hers. _"that's it, hold your sword tighter, arms length. I know you're studying me, I see your honey dipped eyes scanning my fight style." _He mentally counseled to the blond lieutenant.

"yeah right it's called being a pig! Dumbass!" she countered trying to kick his sword out his hand only to have him catch her foot. _" when did he have time to-."_ she widened her eyes as he grinned and tossed her across the field.

_"better, but I know that wasn't even half the use of your talent."_ He thought awaiting her to emerge from the dust cloud around her_. "let's see if a little motivation will get you goin' "_

"I can't expect someone like you to understand what a gentleman acts like after all, no guy will even-

Whoosh!! in the blink of an eye the pigtailed girl had managed to scratch Shinji's robe. _"that asshole!! Who does think he is telling me something like that!!"_ she cursed mentally her heart full of sorrowful rage.

"shut up and concentrate, don't think just cause you're a captain that I'm not a threat!" she warned getting into a fighting stance. He smirked knowing he hit a nerve by the way she was shaking in anger.

_"baka, you wear your heart on your sleeve, who cares if guys don't look at you, I should be the only one."_ He mentally confessed smirking, a small blush crept on girls cheeks as she felt his grin on her.

"alright, but the reason Hikifune asked me to do this is because you lack grace with your sword, just swinging it around like an idiot ain't gonna help ya." He teased, she shouted in rage as she swung her sword straight for him, he sighed. "yeah… like that."

_"your hand to hand combat is bar to none, but your swordsmanship leaves too much to be desired, I won't let you go into the battlefield unprepared, I won't let anything touch you, even if I'm not there, I'll make sure you can defend yourself, no one should touch what's most precious to me." _he acknowledged as their swords violently clashed against each other.

"I don't need grace, I need to be able to defend myself and attack my opponent!!!"she countered as the blades clashed against each other.

"_what surprise! He thinks I'm not good enough! That jerk's always underestimating me! I've fought so hard to get to lieutenant, he thinks just cause he's naturally talented it's that easy for all of us!! An asshole like him… nothing I do will ever be good enough, not my rank, not my swordsmanship, not... my looks."_ She silently criticized narrowing her eyes in scorn.

"I'm already a lieutenant for pete's sake my swordsmanship is impeccable." She shouted as she dodged one of his blows. He jumped in front of her before she could disappear. his face looked serious, she let her guard down for a second, his eyes… they always looked so… alive, she wished hers looked the same way.

"arrogant little brat, just cause you're good as you are doesn't mean you can't get better, Hikifune doesn't want her lieutenant to be good, she wants her to be the best, the greatest, she believes in your abilities and knows you're nowhere near your limit, you're potential at this point is endless!!" he scolded as he knocked the sword out of her hand, and ended up pinning her to the ground, his sword less than inch from her neck.

She gasped as all this happened in the blink of an eye, she'd only let her guard down for a second and for him it was more than enough. She blushed as his words may have sounded rough but she heard the bits praises beneath them. _"he believes in me?... he thinks I can get better."_ She questioned as she huffed for breath from both shock and exhaustion, Shinji was in similar conditions.

He was about ready to pass out. _"damn her, leave it to Hiyori to leave a captain exhausted." _He took deep breaths trying to bring down his heart rate to a safer pace.

She blushed at feeling of his hot breath on her face, it made her feel strange. it made her heart hurt…in a good way. Her eyes deeply gazed into his as he too was lost in thought, his eyes strangely glazed over.

"th-that's my captain's reason… that's what she wants, why do you care so much? what d-do you want?" the lieutenant questioned breathlessly the minute the question escaped her lips, she wished to take it back, her cheeks only glowed redder as her deep breaths didn't seem to stop the dizziness she felt . Shinji's mind drew a blank as all he could do was stare into her eyes, her rich amber eyes. What did…he want? he looked down at her soft lips countered with her vicious fang.

"shin…ji?" she called out in meek voice, the captain looked back up to meet her eyes slowly he drowned in them. In those honey colored eyes. He carelessly threw his sword away as his hand had begun trembling. What he wanted was…

"you…" He admitted crashing his lips to hers. It took Hiyori a good 5 seconds to register what was happening, he was kissing her, this idiot, baldy, douche-bag, skirt-chasing, bastard-face… was…was kissing her as if his life depended on it!

_"this isn't happening, it's a dream-worse! it's a nightmare!! it's!! it's… he tastes like sunflower seeds…"_ her mind drew complete blank, he kissed her so sweetly, she'd never felt so much love in her life.

Her cheeks turn red as she closed her eyes, her body didn't seem to register what her mind had as she clumsily responded to his kiss wrapping her arms around his neck as his hands wrapped around her waist holding her as tight as possible. Neither of them were romantics, heartfelt confessions were not exactly on their to do list but if for one moment they could show the other how much their heart desire them, then that's what they'd do.

_"I need to breathe but… I don't want to, I know when I open my eyes-… hiyori you taste just like honey…"_ he confessed silently. His lips dawdling unlocked from hers, he didn't want to breathe if it meant never being able to kiss her like that again.

They slowly broke apart and as both opened their eyes they realized the **giant** line between friends and lovers they had crossed. Hiyori looked away blushing bright enough to be confused for a lobster, covering her mouth with her hand in shock. Shinji mistook her shock for shame. Hiyori faced him her eyes pleading to hear his voice, to speaking in the same tone he held moments ago.

"Shin-

"I'm sorry I- I don't kno- I'm sorry." He quickly interrupted standing quickly. Hiyori felt her heart shatter was his tone held remorse and shame not the love it had just moments ago. "I have to-

"oh ri-right I'll-." She paused trying to hold back any tears.

"i'll..just-." with that fraction a of sentence he headed off, she sat there watching him until he left, he refused to meet her eyes. She felt herself whelm up with tears as the idea of Shinji being disgusted by their kiss came to mind. She grabbed her sword and whipped her tears. Her heart of stone quickly returned. So what if he didn't love her like she dreamed, she never expected him to.

_"grow up hiyori, you look pathetic!! he was probably so tired from training he wasn't thinking straight, like any guy would want you, geez you're a shinigami, a warrior, not a woman, for once think like one."_ She mentally scolded herself drying any would be tears.

* * *

"captain…captain!" Aizen called out trying to awaken his superior from his deep thought. Shinji was blankly staring into space with a pen in his hand.

"Huh- oh what is it Sosuke?" Shinji replied snapping back to reality. The lieutenant sighed.

"I have the rest of the paper work you requested but as I can plainly see, you aren't even done with the first pile." He responded in disappointment. "honestly Captain I know it's a lot but you can't just refuse to do it." Sosuke put the second pile on Shinji's desk.

"yeah, yeah don't start whinin', just get to helping me with this stuff, it's not like I can take all this by myself." Shinji replied. Sosuke sighed once more.

"if that's what you want." The lieutenant replied, shinji's eyes widened at his response.

"_what d-do you want?"_ her breathless voice haunted his mind, those eyes… he could still feel them piercing through his own. Aizen noticed his captain's tension and called out to him.

"Captain is everything alright?" Aizen voiced in concern. Shinji looked up and awakened to reality.

"ye-yeah I'm just a little tired, let's get this paperwork done quickly I think I need some sake and a lot of sleep." Shinji replied.

"of course sir." Aizen replied taking a fair amount of the stack and heading towards his desk. Shinji's eyes still held that out realm look, his body might have been in his office but his heart was elsewhere.

* * *

"lieutenant… lieutenant!" a young shinigami called trying to get Hiyori's attention, he was quickly tackled by a few of his friends. The ruckus went unheard by the blond shinigami as she continued to stare blankly at the sky from the rooftop.

"are you an idiot!!!" they scolded in a hushed voice. "the lieutenant is never this calm… why would you ever disrupt her!!!"

"but- the reports we-

"man forget the reports, she's so out of it, she hasn't even yelled once! Just do your job and we'll take care of the reports, I think we could all use a break from her!" one countered as the rest nodded in agreement.

"well…okay but, doesn't she seem kinda … I dunno sad? I've never seen her like that so calm and quiet…she's not even frowning, she always frowns!" the young man questioned in concern.

"…that's true… she looks almost…heartbroken." One the girls added.

"heartbroken? Nah she's probably just tired, she was training with a captain this morning, I'd be pretty out of it too, those guys are the real deal." Another one countered.

"yeah… that's gotta be it." the young boy replied look up to see the dishearten lieutenant staring at sky with soulless eyes.

* * *

"captain I'm calling it a night, I advise you do the same, you look awful."Aizen recommended gathering his things together, shinji sent him a glare.

"yeah, yeah mind yer own damn business." The captain retorted in an annoyed tone. Aizen bowed before leaving.

"have a good night sir, try to rest." The brunette voiced, shinji waved him off and soon enough he was left on his own, he looked over at the flickering candle beside him and glanced back at mundane paperwork his signature had very sloppily marred.

"…I can't even spell my own name right now." He sighed dropping the pen from his hand running it through his long hair. Her face came back to mind, he couldn't get that awed look out of his head.

_"is really that hard to believe… is really that impossible that I could love her_?" he questioned mentally. his eyes narrowed as he quickly stood up.

_"it's not going to end like this, I want her to know… I want her to know that I fell in love with her since I first saw her eyes!"_ He silently confessed as dashed from his office only leaving a fading candle and his waning resolve.

* * *

"damn it..." hiyori cursed under her breathe as she undid one of the knots on her hair fighting with a rebellious strand as she a attempt it to smoothen it. she was pretty out of it for most of the day, hikifune had sent her to rest, but it wasn't until 11pm that she actually obeyed the order, she just wanted to clear her head, to understand why he did it? why he did look so sure of his feelings one moment and so completely difference the next. She sighed it didn't matter how long she watched the horizon swallow the sun, the day was over and her heart still felt as broken as it did in the morning. she passed the brush one last time through her rough hair and set it down on her dress, she stared almost remorsefully at the mirror as a sigh escaped her lips.

_"I really am… nothing special…"_ she thought bitterly, no matter how hard or how long she combed her hair it just didn't smooth down, it always sprung up like an unruly mess. _"I'm nothing like Hikifune-sama, she's so beautiful, her hair is soft and smooth and her eyes are light blue like the sky…" _she stared at her own coffee brown eyes, they seemed so plain, so uninteresting.

"no wonder he'll never give me passing glance." She spoke out loud. She stood up from her dresser, far too stressed to continue looking at her displeasing reflection. He'd popped right into her head, that egotistically bastard! her hands balled up into fists as she trembled in rage.

"that asshole!! How could he just do something like that!!!" she shouted demanding an answer from her ceiling. "How could he just toss me around like a rag doll, then kiss me!! and then apologize like an idiot!!! And!!…AND!!… and give me false hope! …" she declared as tears fell gently down her face, resignedly she landed on her bed. Auburn eyes watched her small figure tremble with each sob.

"you know in my defense… it's wasn't false." His smooth voice stated, he saw her shoulders tense at the sound of his voice. She turned slowly almost hoping she'd gone mad and his voice was in her head. Nope… there he was with a sorrowful smiled sitting at her window, his eyes met hers briefly before casting down, he was ashamed and she saw it. he was probably here to hush her about the kiss, him and his damn reputation! At the though of his supposed motive she shook in anger.

"what the hell do you think your doing in my room!!" she demanded standing up from her bed, his eyes briefly scanned her, all she had on was a light white kimono, probably her pajamas, even with red eyes and her face streamed with tears she was still the most beautiful girl in the world to him.

"answer me asshole!!!" she shouted as her left hand fastened her loose kimono, she could feel his eyes on her, she felt naked as those piercing eyes dug through her.

"…do you… do you love me Hiyori?" he asked locking his gaze with hers. her entire face turn a deep scarlet red. He smiled slightly at her reaction, her lips parted slightly as the dumb founded expression her face seemed to make his heart race alittle faster, he may have played the part of the smooth talker but deep down he was just as frustrated and confused as she was.

"do I... I- tha- that has nothing to do with what I asked you!! Don't try to confuse me like that boke!! I said-

"I know what you asked, I'm here to ask you another question, do you, hiyori, love me?" he interrupted standing from the window to approach her, she countered every step with a backwards step of her own. She could barely breathe, let alone speak… how could he demand such thing from her? to declare her unrequited feelings, was this a joke to him?… was this funny?! Seeing her hurt like this! Her eyes glistened with freshly whelmed tears as she glared up at him.

"I hate you more than anyone I've ever met." She hissed venomously. He looked down at her seemingly unphased to her false confession but inside his heart seemed to shrivel up from the immense pain.

"is that so, then I guess coming to tell you that I love you was a mistake." He replied smiling softly, as if trying brave terrible pain. Before he could met her eyes to see her reaction her felt a sharp pain at the side of his face, a small distinguishable hand print marked his cheek. Out of ever hit he'd ever taken from Hiyori this was the only one he'd ever felt real pain in, after pouring his heart her, he was met with a slap and a glared that could kill a man.

"is this a joke to you…" she seethed tears streaming down her face. " IS THIS A FUCKING GAME TO YOU!?!" she demanded.

"Hiyori that's not-

"shut up!! Just shut up!! I hate your voice! I hate everything about you!! I may not be as beautiful as all those girls you pine over asshole but I have a heart too! I have fucking feelings too!! Who the hell gave you the right to toy with them!!!" she exclaimed furiously, shaking from her rage.

"IDIOT INSTEAD OF YELLING AT ME LIKE FUCKING ALWAYS WILL YOU LISTEN FOR AGODDAMN SECOND!!!" he replied his patience long gone from her cruel remarks. His tone startled her.

"I love you! I've loved you since I first met you!! the very minute I saw you I knew I wanted to nothing more than to protect you!" he shouted his face red in indignation at his confession.

_ "I didn't need your help shinigami!" she seethed as she slapped his hand away, and stood up careful not to further bruise her injured ankle._

"_don't flatter yourself I didn't kill it to save you, it was just in my way, and I'm not a shinigami…just yet." He lied picking her up, she kicked and punched him scrambling in a frenzy._

_ "what the fuck you do you think you're doing!!!" she demanded her face turning red as she felt his hands cradle her body protectively._

_ "what else stupid, getting you to a doctor." He replied._

That was the first time he ever saved her, but it wouldn't be the last, and that was the first time he'd ever thought about having just one woman all to himself… a short, bossy, foul mouthed, brown eyed, fanged little girl… was the farthest thing from his plain of thinking but one look at her eyes and he knew, this was the person he'd be willing to give his life for.

"you're lying!" she shouted.

"I'm not!! Damn it look at me hiyori, look at me in the eyes and tell me right now that I'm lying!" he demanded. She looked up, almost hesitantly, and searched his eyes, she saw a lot of things, fear, indecision, nervousness, even some sorrow but… she didn't see deceit in those smoldering brown eyes of his.

"I'm not lying, I'm not playing with you… Hiyori… I love you." he stated placing his hands on her shoulders. She didn't know what to feel…or what she was feeling! Her heart stopped for a minute then exploded the next, his words replayed over and over until it finally clicked in her head. "..he…he loves me..."

tears that had been whelmed in sorrow now whelmed in joy as she sobbed uncontrollably on his kimono clutching it tightly as his arms wrapped delicately around her.

"is it really that hard to believe?" he asked lightly… laughter choked by her sobs merged from his questioning. He knelt down and held her tighter. "I'm guessing that's a yes."

"I'm gonna ask one last time, try not rip out my heart and step on it again, okay?" he asked as she nodded her sobs simmering down. "do you love me?" he asked whipping her last tears.

"what ya think retard?" she replied though her words were rough her tone was ironically delicate. He chuckled, he should've known better than to expect a heartfelt confession, still she was his, she was finally his! and he'd be damned if she'd ruin the moment.

"I dunno what to think since your too chicken to say it." he teased grinning widely. She halfheartedly glared at him but resigned as his soft brown were beginning to hypnotize her.

"_iloveyou ."_ she muttered as quickly and silently as she could turning redder than a tomato. He raised a brow and gave her an amused look.

"huh? Couldn't hear you!" he taunted leaning closer, she leaned away her face burning from embarrassment. She narrowed her brows in anger.

"I said I love you retard!" she replied clasping her hands over her mouth the minute the words slipped out. He smiled not his usual taunting smirk but a genuine smile, one she hadn't since they were young.

"now was that so hard?" he teased as she turned a deeper scarlet red.

"extremely." She replied bitingly, he laughed and she smiled at sound of his laughter it was rich and melodious similar to that strange human music he would listen to.

"this isn't gonna be easy is it?" he commented beginning to stand from his knelt position, only to be stopped as hiyori's hands still clutched his black robes tightly. She looked up at him with her soft honey eyes, she blushed as he smiled down at her, he knew what she wanted, she stood on her tip-toes and pulled him down as gently as she could to brush her lips with his. This kiss was much softer than their first it lacked the raciness but kept all of the love, as quickly as they kissed, they separated.

"no but that doesn't change the fact that you made me feel this mushy crap." She replied burying herself in his arms. He held her tightly.

"you're partially responsible yourself you know, why'd ya go get so cute on me!?" he demanded.

"keh, it's all your fault, with those stupid eyes of yours." She retorted.

"my fault? Ha if anything it's yours for bein' everything I wanted!" he replied defensively.

"mine? Yeah right it's yours! Smiling like that to me, what was I suppose to do!" she countered. The two stared at each other, as unorthodox as this was their confession, no sweet soft words just shouts and demands. They both bursted out laughing from how stupid they felt.

"this is strange." She commented her word mumbled into his kimono. Her heart continued to race she felt his hands comb her loose hair. "but it's nice."

"yeah… it is." He replied weaving his finger through her golden lock. "but it's also against regulations." He reminded her, a wicked grin placed itself on her lips, her fanged tooth hanging maliciously.

"just another reason why we should do it." she replied wickedly. He let out his own haunting Cheshire smile.

"you really hate authority don'tcha ?" he teased kissing her forehead, she nodded smiling. "but then again I've never been a fan of it myself."

"forbidden things always taste sweeter." She replied coquettishly. He smirked and leaned down to whisper in her ear.

"don't tease like that… I might take you seriously." He taunted in a husky voice. She felt shiver race through her spine, he's being teased? Please! She was about jump him then and there.

"teme." She replied blushing as he hugged her, laughing at her reaction.

"fair warning." He teased grinning like a cheshire cat, he eased into the embrace enjoying the feeling of holding her so closely. "you're so warm… neh I think I'm just gonna sleep-ahh owww oww let go!"A sharp pinch to his cheek he stopped midsentence.

"don't think so." She corrected. "I know you well enough to know not sleep in the same bed with you." he shook his head in disappointment.

"alright… but you don't know what you're missing." He teased giving her his famous heart stopping grin. It took all her self control not kiss him.

"baka, I think I'll be fine without your…_company_." She replied crossing her arms and narrowing her eyes.

"no sense of humor as usual." He replied rolling his eyes. " see ya around… koneko-chan." He flirted disappearing with one last kiss. She opened her eyes and blushed turning red in embarrassment.

"I'm not a kitten you idiot!!" she shouted only to find that she had been left alone.

"asshole." She mumbled. "using shunpo to try to look cool, keh what a showoff!"

It didn't matter what she spoke loud inside she was shouting at the top of her lungs "HE LOVE ME!!!!" her heart had just barely calmed down from all the emotions she felt. She looked out from her window letting the cool hair kiss her blushing face.

"Hirako Hiyori…I think I'd learn to like that name." she confessed only to the moon. Her dream of being his bride was finally in bloom, she only wished she'd had courage to tell him sooner, while he only wished the sun would rise again so he could see her cute scowling face.

End.

Hope you guys liked!! Remember REVIEWS MAKE MY HEART HAPPY, I know a lot you guys already review but it means the world to me when I open my e-mail and see all you're kind comments, and even if your comments are criticism as long as it's constructive it's more than welcomed. Please remember NO FLAMES!! I know I'm bad at writing, I'm just letting out my fangirl delusions if you're looking for high quality… you're at wrong spot! Anyhozzels big hugs and kisses!

Love alex.


End file.
